:D

comfort.

2010-05-02T03:58:00.000-07:00

I guess I won't be posting as much here. It makes me feel too open. Because as much I want to believe that nobody comes here, there are those that do.

So, bye. Try to find me if you can. I won't stop you.

:/

2010-04-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

Kinda hurts.

That people dislike it that I was just trying to help them. As much as I want to be an optimist now, it really hurts. I guess I'm not cut out to help other people. I just make their life worse, I guess.

Maybe I should quit FB and start on tumblr, or something. Done it once, can do again.

unfeeling.

2010-04-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

I feel hurt, anger and remorse.

I didn't want to talk about it again. I didn't want to be kept reminded of what he did. And how much it affected me. I'm hurting again. I've kept it too long to myself and just burst. I'm sorry for letting you see it when I should have been comforting you. And, I'm not blaming you for my breakdown. Maybe it was for the best. It's been long since I broke down in front of someone again. I'm glad it's you. You're one of the few people that didn't hate me. Just like what you told me. Thankyou.

Nobody. We're the same in that way, yeah? Like I said before, I can't express how much I'm thankful that you're right beside me, supporting and pulling me up. Thankyou.

It's lost.

black and blue.

2010-04-16T23:37:00.000-07:00

You're a liar. Yet, I still can't find the will to hate you.

giving up.

2010-04-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

There's no point.

Ilang beses ko na ba nsabi to? Nde ako kailangan dto. Sa minutong makita nla ang parte ng totoong pagkato ko, lgi n lng akong kinasusuklaman. Obviously, nde to ang mga totoong kaibgan ko, dba?

Bwiset na buhay nga naman, oh.

talk.

2010-04-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

I want next weekend to come faster.

The first step, would be for me to get back on the right track. Dwelling would only make things worse. I'm slowly recovering. I can feel it. But I have to keep it going first. I don't want anymore rapid moodswings. If not, I'm seriously gonna ask my parents for a check-up. I looked up bipolarity in Wikipedia and it's scarily me. Maybe a few mood stabilizers might help me. I have to make sure that when I promise to be happy, I'll keep it. So I believe that this should be my first step. Please bear with me.

I want to do things my way this time, without anyone's influence.

shittystuff.

2010-04-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

I'm tired and sleepy.

I'm not gonna say anything now. I just want to clear my mind and get back on the right track before I do anything reckless. I just need my alone time.

Thankyou, AteEos. In the end, I always look for you whenever I'm in my deepest shyt. No doubt, you guys can cure me in just one day. I look forward to next weekend. Thankyou so much. It really means a lot to me. I love you guys. (:

"You're always welcomed at home."

smile.

2010-04-06T05:17:00.000-07:00

Keep moving forward.

Glen's right. Since I have the shitload off my shoulder, I should forget about it and stop pondering. Which is what I've been doing, actually. But it still feels nice to be told that. What's done is done so I shouldn't look back anymore. I've been feeling better, actually. If I start thinking about it now, I'll just be wallowing in self-pity. We can't have that, can we? (:

Oh, shittystuff. I've been staying back, every single day, and reaching home after my mom. That's like, "YOU'RE LATE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!", kinda thing. Phew. Good thing my mom's not like that. Hahah. But, really though. Monday, we had the briefing for Wednesday's dialogue session. Today, did the cheer boards for the band competition this Saturday. Tomorrow, we have Social Studies PLUS History remedial. How fun! NOT. Thursday, Physics test after school. And, of course, cca on Friday. Band competition's on Saturday and I have Sunday class to deal with. Damn it. So unfair. "LIFE'S NOT FAIR, DOOOOOOOOODE!" >:D

I realized. If I can't handle my A math, I can't take a psychology course. Now, that just sucks. I don't have a back-up choice, y'know. If I did, it would be something along the lines of writing. Oh manzxc. Shitty TTM. I want my psch. course.. ):

We're strangers now, yeah?

realization.

2010-04-05T04:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna blame you.

I was happy today! At least, I made sure that I looked happy. Nothing seemed to changed or changing. And I'm not sure I like that.

I figured I was wrong for putting the blame on you. So, I'm sorry. Different people work in a different way. And I guess we clashed too strongly. I feel so stupid, realizing what I wrote in that card. Breaking everything that I ever mention. I realized that I played a much bigger part in this whole thing. I'm sorry and thankyou.

Positive and negative impact.

happy day.

2010-04-04T07:03:00.001-07:00

Oh. Happy Day! I just realized you ruined my life! Thanks a lot. Really.

new beginning.

2010-04-04T06:30:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna start anew.

No more sleeping in class. Gonna do homework straight away, either at home or after school. Manage time. Organise myself. Show them what I'm capable of. I'm gonna change, whether people like it or not.

Never again will someone shoot me down.

happy.

2010-04-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

For once, I'm super happy again.

I love KWMS. And it's just so awesome that I found the link the for first anime episode! SQUEALLLLLLLLL! This makes everything worthwhile. (:

JungleSoup for Faith = UsuiTakumi for me. :D (L)

need.

2010-04-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

And everything comes crashing down.

I really need you guys right now. I need your hugs. I need your laughs. I need your comfort. I don't want to stay here, anymore. I want to move where I'm near y'all. I want to laugh without worrying about my problems. I want to be happy.

You guys are like my family.

H/L.

2010-04-03T04:40:00.000-07:00

Let's all hope this is just a phase.

I really hate this feeling. I wish I didn't have it in the first place. I let my guard down. I didn't listen to everyone around me. And then.. I was struck in my most vulnerable state. Where it hurt the most. You know what's the interesting part? I wouldn't have realized it if all these happened. Maybe it wouldn't have even developed. But what's done is done now. All that's left to do is move on. It'd be wrong to hope, knowing him.

Seriously. Thank you so much, Lizhen. For the information, the reality-check and, of course, talking to me about the whole thing without teasing me.

Brave face.

hate.

2010-04-02T04:40:00.000-07:00

I'll hate you.

I swear, a day will come when I'll hate you. I'll avoid you like plague. I won't notice you're in the same class. I won't get affected by seeing you with her. Nobody needs to say, "no offense" to me when talking bad about you.

I'll forget that you were once important in my life.

turn of events.

2010-04-02T01:37:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I feel so free.

It really is a miracle, if I think about it. I feel so calm. So free. So relaxed. It's been so long since I've felt all these. I even feel like dancing. A day without school, homework and stress really does a lot. No more worries. No more physical and emotional pain.

I guess it was stupid of me to do it. Dig my sharp long nails onto my hand. But I swear, I wasn't thinking during those times. I was just so angry, hurt, frustrated, betrayed, aggravated and jealous. It was pure hate. I felt it. And I was even scared of what I might have done. I wanted to quit school. If that was all it took to get out of physical-hurt thoughts. Not suicidal thoughts but close to it. I was so damn scared of myself. Of what I might end up doing. But that's all over now. What I did last night, though was stupid and brash, was the right thing to do.

I really did just realised it. And admitting it was a pain to the pride. But it got me loose. All the confused feelings are gone 'cause i know the reason for all of those. Only Bryan, Shiyun and Yurong knows and that's enough. He's not worth the blue-black nail marks on my hand.

Lizhen and Michelle has been awesome too. You guys are the best. Thanks you for all the encouragement and saying that you'll always be here for me. I was just so touched, I started crying. I didn't realised that there are more people that are more loyal to me, cares more for me and worries more about me. Maybe all these was for the better. I'm seeing all those that actually care about me. And show it. I don't want to hate her just because she's my replacement. I only want to hate you.

If I learned to like you, I can learn to hate you. It's only a matter of time.

things.

2010-03-30T03:28:00.000-07:00

I'm a failure.

Today was a bad day. Not the worst, but definitely bad. And it's about petty stuff too. But even though it's petty, I still can't talk about it to just anyone. Which brought me to thinking, "There are some things that I can't tell you, but there are MORE things that only you can know and understand". Sad, really. Now I can't talk these petty things out. Oh well, gotta move on with life.

You knew something was wrong with me. I know you knew. Everybody else around me came to me and asked what was wrong. You, of all people, know. Yet you showed no concern. I know you wouldn't ask me, especially with all the people around. But I do know that you would have at least sms-ed or called about it. Everything's screwed up now, isn't it? Maybe what I last said to you on the phone was true. "I don't know you anymore".

I'm taking slow and easy steps. It might take longer for me to recover, but at least I won't risk falling down and hurting myself more, again and again. And, who knows? Person might catch up with me and turn me back around, to restart a new beginning.

Flicker of hope.

hot-headed.

2010-03-29T04:59:00.000-07:00

Seeing is believing.

You know, maybe I am genuinely lonely. I never find a day, anymore, that I can post about happy things. Sometimes, I wish i was hurt so badly that all my emotions would shut down. That way, I can never feel hurt ever again. There really are times when I wish something like that would happen. I've already given up. And I don't feel the least guilty about it. "It takes 2 hands to clap", anyway. I've been that one hand, constantly swinging around trying to find the other and looking majorly stupid. Now, I've had enough. Seems you're contented enough, anyway. There's no point in asking something that you know you won't like the answer. I'm tired of taking the first step. No, I'm not gonna shut you out of my life. Yeah, I'll acknowledge you. Yeah, I won't ignore you.

I just want you to clap with me.

tears.

2010-03-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

I suddenly felt sad. I don't even know why yet the tears couldn't stop..

Even after that, it still feels so hard to talk to you. Even though I miss you, I can't shake off the awkward feeling. I can't believe I caused this. I want to talk to you yet I can't bring myself to ask you to call me. Because I know that you can't. And even if you could, it would only be for a little while. And I feel so stupid and disgustingly desperate, whenever I ask you to meet up with me. It really, really hurts. But I can't bring myself to tell you all these. I'm a coward, that's why. I still don't know what you wanna do. I feel so disgusted with myself for constantly pestering you to hang out when I know you're just gonna decline it. It hurts a lot more now, actually.

I actually want you to see this, but at the same time not. I know you well enough to say that even if you did saw this, you wouldn't mention it to me. I wished you'd see how much this affects me. Maybe then, it'll affect you too. I'm so damn tired, crying about you. Friends are the ones that are supposed to be by your side when you're down. Not the ones causing them. I don't dare to call you 'bestfriend' anymore. You'd think I'm a hypocritic bitch.

What hurts the most is I did all these. Because I'm a girl who is sensitive, insecure, paranoid, emotional and weak. Oh God, weak. Why can't guys understand that?

I actually kept stopping at certain parts because I kept having this gasping-for-air cries. I don;t even need to blink and the tears just kept falling and falling.

I may be important to you, but I'm not the most important.

I really should stop reading Max Lovely! It's about this guy and girl who are bestfriends. And even through their troubles, they're still by each other. One chapter was when the guy started ignoring the girl and the girl's energy and spirit was practically sucked off. I was reading it and crying at the same time. Damn. The guy is so sweet and really shows how much he cares for her.

I'm making an effort so huge, I sound so desperate.

I just want to be happy.

fine.

2010-03-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

Fuck.

My.

Life.

In the end, nobody can help me.

worst.

2010-03-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

It's official..

First, JunHao.
Then, almost Faith.
Now, Bryan.
All in March.

.. FML.

RAWR.

2010-03-24T03:54:00.000-07:00

As expected, everyone's using the title against me. D:
I'M NOT BIG SHOTTTTTTTT, FAITH WONG.

Lot1-ed with Shiyun, Yurong and Bryan. Tsk. The guys have no feminine side, I realised. Me and Shiyun had to help them pick out the presents that they were buying. Was supposed to buy Michelle's present too but I'm broke now. All because of Pizza Hut and Mac deliveries. But it was totally awesome. And the gifts were wayyyy worth it. It was so awesome, giving the seniors their gifts and them saying that it was awesome and sweet and they just loved it. A big round of applause to the 8th Student Council, please. Oh. And, everyone's mocking me for being Head of Discipline. Tsk. Like Faith Wong, Chan Lizhen, Tan Qingfu and many more. Don't you just love these people. HAHAH.

You. Don't. Care.

So I'm not gonna also, anymore.

Tired.

2010-03-23T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm very tired now. Emotionally and physically. Before anything else, this post was made through my awesome iTouch. Clap, people. Anyway, back to this.

Hm. Some might say I'm too soft already? I don't really know. What I know is that, this is how I do things. I'm a bipolar idiot who gets angry at you then the next second is guilty about it. But life is full of regrets, isn't it. And this may be one. But as many people already told me, the right decisions can sometimes hurt. And boy, this may be the most right thing that I ever did. GAH. But, some people may think that I'm wrong. That second chances are given to those who matter. The thing is, I don't wanna make anything worse than it already is.

I brought the Tigger today to school. But I had to hide it to prevent myself from looking like a pathetic idiot. All I wanted was to hug it all day. I hope that what I plan to give will have the same value as Tigger has. Though I highly doubt it.

Yes, I'm openly saying all these stuff because I don't believe that he will come here anymore. One, he's angry with me. Two, I'm nothing but a classmate to him now. Three, I have a horrible attitude. Four, all these are emo posts. Five, he'll think that I'm just making excuses and using this to get support from other people. And six, he won't believe anything I say anymore.

hungry.

2010-03-23T04:32:00.000-07:00

I'm hungry.
I'm tired.

I'm guilty.

I'm sad.

I'm sorry.

I remembered that I owe you a birthday gift, today. I wanna fulfill that. I don't want to feel as if I didn't meet any of my promises to you. As soon as I thought of it, I knew what to buy. Wow. Amazing how I know you so much, yeah?

I was so damn moody and aggravated. I don't know why it kept happening whenever we make eye contact. It makes me wanna leave the place. I think it reminds me of how much I screwed up.

Eyes full of disappointment.

true.

2010-03-22T06:46:00.000-07:00

"During the brief moments that our eyes meet, I really hope you think of me." -Facebook group.

And not how much I was a terrible (ex?)(best)friend.

migraine.

2010-03-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

I lied.

I was lucky to be able to hold back the tears before reaching the door. A sob was released though. I'm having a migraine. I don't know what to do. It would have been better if I wasn't here.

You don't know the half of what I'm going through. Nobody does. I'm as, if not more, emotionally unstable than Shiyun. Behind this facade, I cry almost every night.

Straight to the heart, I think. I realised how different my nights would be. No more calls. It'll just be me and my emotions alone. I realised that I'm more emotional in the night, yeah. And I usually look for you to comfort me. Too bad everything's changed now. You hate and ignore me now. And I know it's my fault. I pushed you away with that sms. And talking to Michelle just now, I realised that I did it on purpose. Pushing you away, I mean. Sigh. I realised I was lying in that sms too. I looked at the Tigger last night and cried for a good half hour. I'm a pathetic idiot. But it made me realise something. I was tying you down like we were in a BGR. So, yes. It is better like this. Not saying that I want this but saying that it's for the better. I can see that you don't want to do anything. And I can probably understand that. Who was I to demand that you show me that you cared, despite the assurance through words that you did. I really did miss you. But the fact that's slowly sinking in, the fact that I was the one to push you away, I'm actually missing you a lot more even if you're being your normal-bitchy-bastardy self.

I feel hurt and anger alone. You've made your decision and I have no right to make you change it. I still miss you though.

"'end', then you still so sad. Also no point ?~~" Michelle.
:/

mommaaaaaaaaa.

2010-03-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

MOMMA LOVES HER KIDS AND DADDY !
♥ for Daryl.
♥ for Glen.
♥ for Shiyun
♥ for Bryan.
♥ for Yurong.

^(not biasness. it's based on when they became part of my family. HAHAH.)

There. I feel the impact. I hope I did the right thing. :/

had to.

2010-03-21T04:39:00.000-07:00

I did what I had to do.

I feel free but at the same time, guilty. Few may ask, why do you do so much? Hm. Maybe because it was important to me. I wanted to save it so badly, I neglected the other facts. Maybe this really is for the better, even though I may not want it. I didn't choose to lose my trust in you. You pushed me to it.

You say you're not good with words and since action speaks louder than words, show it to me.

nobody cares in facebook anymore.

2010-03-20T02:47:00.000-07:00

MICHELLE! I KNOW YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE READING THIS!

I feel very sad. Even though I'm trying damn hard to cheer up for everyone around me. I know I can't call other people to cheer up when I can't even cheer up, myself. I feel very lonely. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I give up on everything? I seriously don't know what to do anymore. It's feels as if no one is supporting me anymore. With everything that's happening to me, I don't feel as if I have a bestfriend. Does that mean everything's over? Nothing can ever go back already? I'm sad, confused and hurt. I don't know what to do. Everyone's having their own problems so I don't want to burden them with mine. I know there are people supporting me, caring for me, concerning for me and trying to help me. But I can't feel them. I can't feel them anymore. I'm alone in my own world. I wanna be happy. Don't I deserve to be?

I don't like this.

very few knows.

2010-03-19T22:49:00.000-07:00

You know, with my grades, I don't think my parents will allow me to go for an expensive overseas trip. Namely, CAMP. Or even, cancel the trip back home to Philippines. ):

I'm very scared. Apart from not being able to go overseas, Mr.Kok says that if I keep failing both math, I can't get promoted to Sec4. Scary, yes? At least there are people helping me by offering to teach me after school. Keyword: OFFER. I didn't force/ask them. Unlike I did to someone.

Thanks, Jamie.

Thanks, Daryl.

Thanks, ShiYun.

Thanks, Bryan.

Thanks, Glen.

On a whole different note,

Thanks, Michelle. We'll cheer up together, yeah? Besides, you're the only one who reads this thing so, BIGBIGHUG for youuuu. (:

sanctuary.

2010-03-16T02:32:00.000-07:00

This blog may be the only sanctuary I have now.

Everything's so wrong. Day by day, everything's falling apart, little by little. And I have no one to rely on anymore. My 'bestfriend' doesn't act as my bestfriend anymore. My confidante is hiding something from me.

I'm starting to lose hope and trust already. Somebody do something before it all disappears. But maybe if it all did disappear, I won't feel hurt anymore..

I'm starting to feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. Somebody stop me. But maybe it'll be the best solution for me..

I've lost all reasons I had to stay here after O levels. Someone bring them back. Or maybe I'm just not meant to stay here.

I can't stay here anymore. This isn't my place. I'm not supposed to be here. I should go back to where I belong. I know that life's not easy. Even if I go back there, I might be facing the same problems. But the difference? I won't feel like I don't belong.

I'm so fucking fed up. I'm not gonna hold back my vulgarities anymore. One, it helps to emphasize my points. Two, it helps to make me feel, at least, a bit better. Three, nobody can tell me to stop. I only asked one person to help me in controlling my vulgarities. And, right now, I'm not sure that person's up for the job. It does involve a lot of talking to me. And you never do already.

You've got other friends with you now. Last time, I was one of the only few. Now that you've got more, you can easily find someone you trust more, right? Someone to replace our ups and downs. Maybe I'm feeling like this because I used to be the only one. Now, there are others.

I really thought that you could be the one. The true best friend that I'd been looking for. Someone who wouldn't leave me and vice versa. Someone who would trust me the most and vice versa. Someone who could say, "Hey, (s)he's my bestfriend!" with no reluctance and vice versa. Guess I was wrong. Guess I'm always wrong.

Or maybe it's me. I'm a bad friend and a horrible best friend. I'm not trustworthy. I backstab and betray. I ditch my friends when they're down. I let everyone down. Hypocrite and never true to my words, I always break my promises. I never care about other people's problems and leave them alone. I never worry about someone else's situation. I'm not worth to be one's bestfriend. Is that really me?

I really do miss you. But there's no point anymore if you don't trust or believe me. I've poured out everything I had to say through this blog, the card and the letter. All these are true.

I thought you cared.
I thought you wanted me to stay after 'O's.
I thought you missed me.
I thought you'd keep the unspoken promise that bestfriend have.
I thought wrong.

cycle.

2010-03-15T03:36:00.000-07:00

The past will always repeat itself.

Last night was probably the only night that I didn't care that my brother could hear me crying. I blame myself and nobody else. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for making you lose your trust in me. Right now, I can't remember what I wrote on the letter for you. But know that I meant every single word. It hurt a lot, finding out that you didn't trust me, your bestfriend, anymore. If I can't even maintain the trust of my bestfriend, what use am I? I've always been proud of having you as a bestfriend. Not just because you were a guy but that, other people viewed you as a horrible person. Whereas I saw you as a person that I trusted most. No matter how many people, how terrible and how true what they said about you, I stuck by you. Being one of the few people who saw your good sides, only made me stick by you more. I brushed off the rumours and tell them that you're just my bestfriend, with no hesitation.

I miss talking to you for endless hours. I miss going out with you, having fun wherever we went. I miss walking home with you. I miss playing around with you. Whenever I ask you if you miss(ed) me, it was a way for me to say that I miss you. A lot of things has changed and I don't like it. We're not as close as we used to be.

And maybe that's what pushed me into confiding to other people. I was never happy after talking to you, anymore. Our fights got more frequent and worse, day by day. We talked less and less. I tried so hard, reaching out to you again. I wanted everything back to normal. I wanted my bestfriend back.

But, I guess history always repeats itself. I thought that, after all the fights that we've through, we'll be as strong as ever. But I guess I'm wrong. Like I mentioned, one of the things that I would like to have most is a bestfriend. Basically because, all my previous bestfriends didn't last long. I don't even talk to them anymore. Will you become one of them, too?

It hurts, looking at my most loved BabyTigger now..

normal.

2010-03-11T02:57:00.001-08:00

I don't like this at all.

Was it me? Was it my fault? I want things back to normal, please. I don't want to be so alone. I want to be able to talk to someone about everything, again. I hate the awkwardness between us now. I know I'm being annoying with constantly asking if we can talk face-to-face, but I really want to. We never resolve anything through the phone. In fact, everything gets worse. Are we really drifting apart? Will this end up like all my previous 'bestfriends'? I don't want it to. For once, I want to be proven wrong in the way I see life.

I want my bestfriend back.

tortoise.

2010-03-03T04:12:00.000-08:00

Bryan Lu Zhen Wei's birthday present. (Y)

That tortoise is huge, I tell you. It's shared among 10 people. And since it costs $40, each person only has to pay $4. Best. (Y)

Everyone's feeling so down, including me. Bryan Lu Zhen Wei, Tan Shi Yun, Michelle Lee Hui Si & Glen Kuick Yi Shao ! Cheer up, you people. I know I may not have the rights to say this when I'm.. yeah. But, I really want all of you to cheer up. I see you people everyday and though some of you might not show it in public, I know you're very sad inside. Let me help, okay ? I know the only thing I do, or rather, the only thing I say is cheer up and smile but I really do mean it.

Bryan, you don't have to tell me. And I know that you probably won't but that's okay. I really appreciate everything you've done for me since the very beginning. You really changed my impression of you. Please cheer up, alright little boy ? You're almost like a little brother to me now. (:

Shi Yun, it's not the end of the world. I know you can't/don't tell me some stuff and even though it hurts me, in a way, i'll respect that. Just know that I'm always here to lend you my ear, as well as my shoulder. Need a hug, I'm here. (:

Michelle, I'm here for you. You don't need to care about her. There's plenty of us here to help you and protect you, alright ? We're all ready and willing to help in any way that we can. (:

Glen, make the right decision. I may not have experienced this before but I want to help you. And from what I can see, there's only 3 things you can do. You know those 3. Like what you said, the important thing is that you and your friends know that you did it because it's the right decision for both of you. (:

4 times.

2010-03-02T03:04:00.000-08:00

(c)2007-2010 ~dhyali
I feel very sad.

I cried 4 times today. 4 fcking times. I'm so tired, I just want to sleep. But nooo. I still have to finish my math homeworks and make some camp planning.

I really loathe math lessons now. I hate it to the core. I want to transfer out of 3e just to get away from math lessons. Stop picking on me. Stop blaming my cca. Stop blaming SC. Maybe if you stop pressuring me, maybe if you just let me stay at my seat where I can easily ask people around me for help, maybe I'll be able to improve and catch up on my work. Stop pinpointing me. I already know that I suck. You don't have to keep reminding the whole class.

Honestly, I don't know why I started crying. Maybe it was because I was worried. Maybe because I couldn't stand watching all of it happen in front, and even between, me. I worry too much.

Breaking news: Make that 5 times. Had my biggest bawl at home. I couldn't help it. When I saw that message, all I could think of was, "Enough, enough! I can't take this anymore! Stop it! I don't want it anymore!" As I locked myself in the room with the lights turned off, I hugged the nearest pillow to my knees as I bawled my head off. I couldn't stop it. I sinked to the floor with only the wall supporting me. I wish I don't have any work to do. I just want to sleep every damn thing off. I think I need YFC this saturday.

"Please. I want--need--to know."
"I'm sorry mae.."

mass monday blues.

2010-03-01T04:52:00.000-08:00

Happy faces or sad faces?

Today was a serious mass breakdown. I'm seriously pooped. I had to run here and there to check up on people. It's just on instinct, actually. I can't stand to ignore them and do nothing. First it was Michelle, then ShiYun, then Faith, then Daryl, then JieMing, then Bryan, then Glen. What's a girl supposed to do but talk to them? I hate it when I can't do anything, though. Whether it was because it was imply out of my hands, inevitable or just plain that they don't want to tell me what happened. It's very frustrating. I want to be trusted. I want to make them feel better. I'm your friend, people. Even if I can't do anything to make it all go away, I want to help and make you happy. Please know that you can always talk to me.

Don't you trust me?

girl.

2010-02-28T01:36:00.000-08:00

I'm a girl today, HAHAH. :D
Well, boring day at cathecism class today. Had a blast smsing Faith throughout 2 hours of lesson! Basically, that's all I remember from cathecism class. Whoops. Even during mass, I was distracted. Kept watching my cathecism classmate take pictures with his girlfriend. I was on the second floor and I could look at the blocks for cathecism class. They spent about 10 mins there, or more. LOL. I just thought that it was inappropriate, especially since they were in church compounds. Tsk. Oh well.

After a long time, I went to the library today! Hahah! You know what's the best part? I ended up borrowing books that I read before. Awesome, right? I seriously love the authors. Rachel Hawthorne and Meg Cabot. Out of 4 books, I've already read 3.

I'm broke again, because of school. Why can't my parents understand that I have a lot of things to pay for school? You know, I've saved $50 and all that went to God knows where. I'm even getting nagged at for withdrawing from my account. They were the ones who told me to withdraw, in the first place! That's it. I'm gonna starve myself in school, just so I can have enough money for presents and other school stuff. Let's calculate, shall we.
Total money: $72.95
History file: $15.40
Present: $5, if shared. $10 if alone.
Sub-total: $52.55
In conclusion, I still have my savings. Awesome. My one-week allowance of $2.55? Not awesome. Seriously.

Have, BOOMZ.

KWMS.

2010-02-27T16:01:00.000-08:00

Kaichou wa Maid-sama.

Well, look at that. I'm up early! I still have a few more minutes before I go for cathecism class so I'll make this quick.

Ain't that picture the cutest thing ever?! I can't wait until the anime comes out. It's already awesome in manga, I just hope the anime won't ruin it. I'll still love it, though. Hm. Well, that's all I had to say, actually. Gonna update again later. Yeah, yeah.

Don't push yourself.

definition.

2010-02-27T05:59:00.000-08:00

Is this the definition of being happy?

Things are seemingly back to normal. More or less. JunHao's being an ass again, treating me like a guy through the phone. You man-boob.

Apart from that, Bryan and ShiYun's emo-ness is really infectious. More so, because they aren't talking to me about it. I'm not going to force them or anything. I want them to tell me because they trust me. In a stranger's eyes, they all seem like happy people, content with their lives. But to me, they're teenagers that seek my comfort yet all I can say is, "Cheer up". I'm starting to hate myself for repeatedly saying those two words. It's as if it becomes more and more meaningless with every time that I say it to someone. I know those words can't help. I know I want to do more than just sms or tell you that. Let me help. I want to. I want you people to be happy even outside school. I know it's not my place to talk when I can't do the same but that doesn't mean you guys can't. Don't give me an excuse like, "Do it first then I'll do the same" because you guys won't. In fact, I won't either. But I still want you guys to be happy.

You know what? I've made up my mind. I want to be happy, from now on. I just need people to help me with it. I'm gonna be genuinely happy even at home. I'm not gonna let stress pull me down. I'm gonna let my friends pull me up. I'm gonna be as happy as my picture.

To a stranger, you're always happy. To me, I want you to be happy.

history.

2010-02-26T22:02:00.000-08:00

Meh. I feel lonely again.

Though, it isn't caused by anyone this time. I just feel like it. What's wrong with me? I'm never satisfied with what I have. I think everything is too much for me to handle yet I still want to take on more. My facade has been slowly slipping off. So many people have been asking why I had been so quiet, even Mr.Kok. It always almost makes me cry to have someone ask me that. I'd shake my head and mutter an excuse. I seriously can't understand myself. I know being alone gives you time to think. The space between you and others gives you the space to grow. Lately, I've been trying to get some alone time in school. Constantly going out of the class and heading for the water cooler. Or even going to the staircase. The most recent one would be by the lifts. The peace is wonderful and at the same time, unnerving. I need to get back up. I don't want the past to repeat itself. I don't want to be hated because I'm quiet. I don't want to be hated because I'm having a hard time. I don't want to be hated when I need everyone's support the most.

"I'm just tired."

especially for you.

2010-02-26T05:20:00.000-08:00

Neo Jun Hao, read this:

You suck.
I hate you.

The end. :D (L)

done.

2010-02-26T04:12:00.000-08:00

I think I may be finally done about complaining about my 'beloved' bestfriend.
*pui*

Writing helps. Seriously. I've gone back to randomly writing on my notebook, sort of like a diary, and I've felt better. No more complaining about him. Hurkhurk. I'm gonna be a nice bestfriend, from now on. Even if the effort isn't mutual. Meh. Still, thanks for always being there even though i haven't been fair to you this past few days. Just know that I really do care, okay? Gosh, I sound so mushy. Bleugh. But, oh well. You're pissed right now and it's scary talking to you. Can't we go back to how we used to talk? No anger, no sadness, no jealousy and no complaints. Just plain fooling around, joking, gossiping and laughing our asses off. I miss those times. Especially when we talked for hours, non-stop, on the phone. All that was left was my phone bursting into flames. Meh.

I lost my Baby Tigger keychain. I feel mega!sad now that I want to cry. I miss my smallest Tigger. Even though it wasn't given by anyone, I still liked it a lot. It was my very first Tigger and the one that has a lot of sentimental values. I seriously feel like crying.

woah.

2010-02-25T06:30:00.000-08:00

Couldn't help but continue blogging. Meh.

When i need you the most, you're either busy or angry. It may be asking for too much but who else can i turn to? 'Best friend' is not a title, but an obligation. A promise. Ever since that day, I know I've been quiet on the phone. Do you know why? I kept asking myself, do I really mean something to you? Why were you so fast to apologise? Usually, you're not like that. I'm feeling so damn insecure about trust right now and all you do is make it seem worse and worse. I trust you. Please stop making me question that. I'm not asking you to spend all your time with me. I just want you to set aside some time with me. I have so many things to say that I can't tell anybody else, but you don't give me the chance to tell you. I know you've been asking why I've been so quiet lately and I know I haven't been telling you but I want to. And everytime I get the guts to talk to you about it, you need to go. And everytime that happens, I can't stop the tears from coming out. Is this how it feels? To have no one to turn to? To have no one to talk to?

To be lonely?

hug.

2010-02-25T02:53:00.000-08:00

i need a hug.

like, seriously.
doesn't matter if it's a guy or girl. i need a reallyyyyyyyy long hug until i burst crying. and you know what's worse ? everytime i get damn high, someone infects me with their emo-ness. i don't mind cheering people up, really. i've been doing that for the past few years of my entire life. but it'd be really better if they open up to me. it makes me feel like i'm trusted and i like feeling trusted. everyone, please cheer up. once you people cheer up, maybe i can cheer up too.

okay, here's th summary for CT1:
English: could have done better.
SocialStudies: teetering pass-fail.
A Math: fail.
E Math: teetering pass-fail.
History: epic fail. OTL.
Physics: failure.
Chemistry: passable.
Biology: passable.
ain't that freaking awesome ? not. i don't even have a single subject that i'm confident that i'll pass. and i've mugged for everything until late at night. very depressing, you know. ):

i've plenty to blog about. but i don't really feel like continuing anymore. it's funny when i try to cheer up so many people, when i can't cheer myself up.

Tee, cheer up kay ? stop thinking about them. one doesn't seem to care and
one cares a little bit too much already.
Bryan, relax. after the competition, de-stress yourself. you deserve it.
it's after common test, it's all over.

no worries.

2010-02-24T03:28:00.000-08:00

well, i don't think i have to worry about questions like, "why are you so quiet?". tonight's phone call(s) will be full of complaints and an angry voice. he won't even notice that i'm quiet. meh.

a lot of people ask, why i still put up with you when i constantly complain about you. don't they know that they've already answered their question ? even though i know all these faults, i'm still friends with you. i enjoy the company in the night and the deaf ear that listens--NOT--to my complaints and problems. sure, i still get surprised when you show signs of concern. well.. you're a guy. i wouldn't expect that, especially from someone like you. but, recently, i don't know what's been happening. maybe i feel insecure or jealous ? sometimes i find myself wishing that we shouldn't be best friends. i find myself picturing a scene where everything crumbles and everything will be forgotten. just like every single time i get a 'best friend'. i kind of expect myself to lose you, as another one. maybe that's why i've been like this. you don't act like my best friend anymore. or maybe i'm being paranoid. but.. i feel lonely.

holy crap. i sound like a despo woman for a guy. please, i'm not. i just hate losing my friends. happened too much already. anyway, just to be clear, I DON'T LIKE HIM. get that blunt fact into your head.

speaking of that, i have an announcement to make ! i don't like anyone anymore ! meaning, i've finally moved on. when ? i didn't notice. but, i am now. too bad people won't believe me even if i tell them. think whatever you like, people. im'ma free of my feelings. (:

lonely//cheerful facade.

2010-02-23T06:26:00.000-08:00

i'm deeming this blog safe. clearly, nobody ever passes by here now. oh well. so, yeah. i have a lot of things to talk about actually. one of them being.. dun-dun-dun.. COMMON TESTS !

so, yeah. i know it isn't much, compared to EOY but, have you seen those papers ? it's scary to think that EOY papers will be set much harder than that. i've already, clearly, failed my A math. plus, i'm positive that i'll fail my history too. i wrote a bunch of crap in there. so far, i've only been motivated for my best subjects, english and science. though i haven't taken my physics and biology yet, i can see myself mugging for it. i actually took my study time for history to mug for my chemistry. go figure, why i expect myself to fail. BADLY. sad thing is, as much as i want to be motivated for my E math, clearly, i can't seem to. if not, i won't be blogging now. meh.

second thing, i feel very lonely. no matter how much i might seem to be popular, no matter how many friends i make, no matter how cheerful i may seem to be, i can't bring myself to be genuinely happy. i don't really understand it, myself. my best friend ? yeah. he doesn't really act like it. i actually get tired of listening to you complain about MY friends. you know, i usually just pour everything out to someone but i actually feel like keeping things to myself now. nobody would care to listen, nobody would understand. realizing this only made my motivation lower down. i don't care if everybody suddenly asks, "why are you so emo?". i know that everyone just sees my cheerful facade but i'm really very!lonely inside. while i type this, i'm talking to my best friend who is asking why i'm so quiet, but i also feel like crying. denying that nothing's wrong is so hard. i've grown up, basically. i've learned to keep things to myself, avoiding drama and all the unecessary stuff. basically, talking about will just make me cry more. sigh. i hate feeling so lonely. i wanna be happy. i wanna smile at home, where my mask is off.

i feel so lonely.
why ?

uselessness and insecurities.

2010-01-27T01:33:00.000-08:00

I think I finally figured out why i'm so exhausted, everyday.
I moodswing too much.

Hm. I can talk a lot about what happened these past few days but I'm not gonna. I just feel like whining a lot now. Why, you ask? Facebook has recently stopped working with my iTouch. I was seriously ready to bang it against a wall. The only other option was to install the new one but I had to update my software and all. That meant syncing my iTouch into my laptop. That meant that all my songs and photos would go POOF. Obviously, it did. From 735 songs, I'm down to 50 songs. Even though that's only the organised ones, it's still little, compared to 735. To top it off, my Dad still hasn't taught me how to plug in my external hard drive. You know, to put in all my albums. Sigh. I feel like crying. Seriously. It's just so unfair. I want to update my software, I have to pay. WHY?! They didn't charge, last time. Why now? Oh, ugh. I feel very BLEH right now. My iTouch is completely and utterly useless.

Actually, I feel a little useless, myself. Do you think I'm a bad friend? Or a flirt, even? I don't even know why I'm thinking of such stuff. Maybe it's because I'm becoming closer to the guys. Sharing secrets and problems and all those. Or maybe it's because of those secrets itself. I feel like I don't deserve to know them. I'm afraid that they trust me too much. I don't even have proof that I'm completely trustworthy. Don't get me wrong though. I'm still trustworthy. It's just that there happened to be a recent incident(s) where I may have slipped on some things. Not the whole thing but just enough. I mean, I don't even know how my friends think of me. Do they get irritated that I'm violent, short-tempered, bad-tempered and moody? Do they think that they'd rather that I don't hang around them? Yes, I do feel very confused. I love my friends and all but, I won't really and exactly know what they think about me. I don't even want to know what, those that don't know me, think of me. Flirt? Just because I hang out with 2B'09 guys. Ocassionally, with Bryan but that's all. Loud? Yes, I am loud. Bad example of an SC? Um. I try not to, okay?

Really. What do you think of me?

shocks and gossip.

2010-01-22T23:52:00.000-08:00

everybody's sick of school, nowadays.
who wouldn't be ?
every single stress and pressure you could ever think of, is being forced onto us.
why ?
because our batch is unlucky, like that. (N)

so far, everything's been normal.
except for th stress part.
but i'm not gonna whine abt tht anymore. (Y)
th only shocking thing would be th recent 'findings'.
yeah.
i knowww i should stop digging for gossip/secrets but i just can't help it. (Y)
plus, it makes great conversation to someone you never thought you could have been gossiping with.
yes, i mean Glen.
LOL.
but it's probably partly because i sit beside him, respectively.
you have nooo idea how fun it is to annoy him.
too bad i always get pwned by him too. (N)
countless of times.
tht sucker. (N)
at least Faith is behind me. (Y)
which can both be a good thing or a bad thing, actually.
i still (L) you, Faith. :D
yeah, well, th thing was it was double period Math tht day.
and, surprisingly, i was actually understanding wht Mr.Kok was teaching.
yes, yes, i know. a MIRACLE. (Y)
too bad i didn't get to hear some parts at th end because i was talking--gossiping--with Glen.
i don't even remember howit started.
just tht, quite a few shockers, actually.
somethings tht are too controversial to put up here.
one thing's for sure, though.
i'm never gonna look at them, th same way ever again.
talking would be easy, yup.
hm. i don't know. maybe i should observing muchmuch more.
of course, i'm a natural observer. (Y)
and a kicking psychologist, at tht. (Y)
hey. i'm proud of it, okay ?
plus, i really DO observe a lot of things.
which makes my theories, more or less real.
like th one with B and T.
most people would be shocked but i wasn't.
even in th past.
especially when D and M got together.
i was only surprised because i didn't want it to happen.
aw man. gotta stop dwelling in th past now.
so, anyway, i really DO observe quite a few things others might not.
and i know thigns tht others aren't supposed to know.
i'm just really susceptible to secrets, i guess.
like, how S actually doesn't like how D is acting but doesn't show it.
i understand though, at a certain extent.
i don't exactly know how they feel 'cause i'm not them.
so i can only understand at from wht i know, hear and see.

(L) 2B forver. :D

about time. =_=

2010-01-10T06:31:00.000-08:00

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyo !

about time i update, right ?
ho-hum.
this is like, so dead.
and i still probably can't update regularly because of school and stuff.
anyway, just wanted to update now. :D
don't know when i can renovate this thing, though.
thisis all i have for now.

peace out. (L)

tiring.

2009-11-27T02:23:00.000-08:00

yes, yes, i know i haven't updated.
well, i have a life. HAHAH !
okay updates:

1.) MELASON IS TH BOMB. :D

2.) 3E'2010 is th BOMB ! :D (L)

3.) SC CAMP IS TH BOMB ! :D (L)(L)

4.) YFC IS TH BOMB ! :D (L)(L)(L)

5.) it's less than a week until our flight, baybeh. :3

meh. i can't think of anything else now.
HAHAH !
except tht i'm tired.
like seriously.
two more days and i'm gonna be free of hectic schedule. :D
gonna update soon, bah. :D

dead.

2009-10-31T02:38:00.000-07:00

as some of you might know,

our com's dead.

so, yeah, i'm using th laptop.

stuff tht happened:

- HOLIDAYS ARE HERE !

- SCHOOL IS GONE !

- i'm utterly bored.

- love my new hoodie.

- AHEM finally bought my bday gift, BABY TIGGER !

- i'm depressed.

- utterly, stupidly depressed.

- trying to be positive.

- wondering wht i did wrong last year.

- figuring out whether AHEM's friendship with me this year is real.

- gonna miss 2B.

- esp. th clique.

- but there's a part of me tht's glad to be apart.

- th class holds too much painful memories.

- it overpowers th good ones.

- but, still, i'll miss you guys.

- oh yeah, worried abt triple science and a math.

- cried.

- A LOT, too.

- broke.

- but still going for a movie marathon.

tht's all for now, ppl.

remember..

i love you all. :D

i guess, i'm just glad we became friends even after wht you thought of me.
were you wrong abt me ?
do you still hate me ?

scared.

2009-10-19T03:58:00.000-07:00

i think i may be starting to fall for him.
AGAIN.
shoot, this sucks.
and wht if he likes me back ?
woah. i don't even want to think wht might happen.
I. AM. NOT. FANTASIZING.
i am merely listing out, in my head, th possible outcomes if tht were to happen.
like, a fling ?
a long-term, long-distance relationship ?
or nothing at all.
omg. this sucks.
ferseriously.
i'd rather we be best friends.
'cause in my views, a long-distance anything can easily fall apart.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I.
AM.
NOT.
IN.
LOVE.

DAMNIT, YOU !

WHOO. :D

2009-10-15T02:54:00.000-07:00

ONE MORE PAPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. :D
too bad it's science. ):
must work hardhardhard.

oh man.
i feel so bleh.
again.
idk why.
ugh. i need my holidays.
i feel stressed in school.
but i feel high with th clique or some of them.
then at home, i feel BLEH.

ONE MORE PAPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. :D

mugger.

2009-10-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

not th greatest time to be updating but,
oh well. :D

yeah, just came by to update lor.
mwahahah.

exam checklist:

~~ENGLISH~~
~~GEOGRAPHY~~
~~LITERATURE~~
~~HISTORY~~
~~MATH~~
SCIENCE

wish me luck, fools. :D

yesyesyes.
i love you all. :D
♥

minds.

2009-09-28T03:24:00.000-07:00

i had a bad hair day today. ):

I WANNA CUT MY HAIR, DAMNIT !
i want it short.
and layered.
and with a little bit fringe.
and easy to tie.
I WANNA CUT IT.
NOW !
but, too bad, i have to wait until i go back Php. ):
tht's th way i roll. :D
and, i can easily say wht kind of hairstyle i want.
oh yeah.
nothing beats Mindoro's David's Salon. (believe it or not, i like it there. :D)
LULZZZ !!1one1! 8B
(^tht there is my awesome nerd talk. xD)

i am now officially a vocaloid fan.
heartheart. :D
i love th songs. :3
i love th characters. :3
i love th fanarts. :3
i just love it, kay ? :D

i almost lost my phone, omg. :O
if it weren't for MT, i wouldn't have looked for it. :S
i need my songs during MT, damnit.
so i raced up 6th storey again to check th Food Lab.
lucky manzxc. T^T

typhoon.

2009-09-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

let's pray for th people in Philippines.
i hope typhoon Ondoy gets outta there, SOON.
we don't need more victims,
just for a wake up call.
GO HELP, DAMNIT !

Disney songs are a definite classic. :D
now, my phone is full of classics. :D

Vocaloid songs are definite golden. :D
Hatsune Miku's voice is synethetically golden. :D

yes, i was tricked. LOL.
i doubt you'll see this anyway but..
don't be too hard on yourself.
or perhaps, you're being too humble ?
hahah. someone is worth something to someone else. (:
and,
YOU GOT ME INTO TROUBLE LAST NIGHT. Dx
and probably more trouble in school 'cause of -AHEM-.
you suck, you know tht.
but it was rare to talk to you like tht. :D
we should do it more often. :P

scared.

2009-09-26T08:21:00.000-07:00

you can ignore this.
seriously.

i'm scared.
tht i'll fall for you again.
because i'd hurt too much.

i'm scared.
tht i'll fall for you, for real.
because i won't be
able to handle it.

i'm scared.
tht i'll fall for you.
because i
don't want to.

if you read carefully,
they're different people.
i'm not saying i like all of them at once.
seriously.
read carefully if you think so.

homework.

2009-09-26T03:41:00.000-07:00

went to jamie's house for study group from 12.30 to 5. :D
only got me, jingwen and jamie tht went.
whatevr.
at least, tht way, i got more studying done.
i actually finished th math and science homework. :D
left with literature and history.
i'm gonna finish it tomorrow after church mass.

my patience is permanently wearing thin.
i'm getting easily irritated, day by passing day.
i may be losing my remaining sense of humour.
damn it.
damn it to hell.

i'm gonna study until my brain explodes.
and i'm gonna like it.

bleugh.

2009-09-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

i feel like posting something nice today.
but i ended up with tht shyt-short of a blog post.
bleh.

i don't really know wht to say.
i don't think i'll even be typind anything bubbly today.
i feel so drained.

i've noticed.
all th stuff tht need my outmost attention,
all happens during exam period.
i'm freaking serious.
last time, also like tht.
if i wasn't so stressed, i'd laugh.

i try so hard to trust all of you.
but you just contradict yourselves.

apart from my own problems,
it seems i need to give advice to Bear too.
we seriosuly need to meet up, woman.
i'll treat you to some ice cream,
and THEN,
i'll hit you on th head.
get a grip, you.
i've alrdy told you tht i know wht i'm saying.
tht happened countless times to in th past 2 years.
take a chill pill.
i'm here. (:

i'm not used to it, i guess.
so here's to, String.
best of luck to your relatinship with her.
make it last, this time.

i feel so.. bleh.
so much tht i want to drown myself in studying.
too bad, today is rest day for me.
shyt you, Mental.
i forgot to borrow your history txtbook.
die in a hole.

i find it amusing, actually.
tht i write so many little stuff on a post.
so short for one paragraph.
laugh man, laugh.

i wanna add more songs again.
but i'm too lazy of a bum.
i'll do it whenever.

yes.
i DO have personal nicknames for all th ppl tht i know.
nobody knows whop th other ppl are.
they'll only know themselves.
because I talk about/to them here.
but some, i don't intend to make it obvious.

i nickname myself, Background.
if you can figure out th different reasons for this nickname,
i'll treat you to ice cream.
i'm serious.
but you have to list ALL th reasons.
it has more than one.

blacksheep.

2009-09-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

your history is always a clue to your present.

well, this sucks.
camp planning sucks to th core.
it makes my brain hurt.
my poorpoor brain cells.
they might run out soon.

i'm tired.
i'm exhausted.
i'm stressed.
i'm pressured.
i'm confused.
but my limit's my goal.

i think i like you, again.
i wanna know more abt you. (:

F&N.

2009-09-24T03:54:00.000-07:00

we had F&N at IT lab again today.
and guess what ?
we had mass conver again. :D
summary:
Glen suck. :D
Benjamin suck. :D
Daryl suck. :D
Faith rocks. :D
I rock. :D
ShiYun is pissed with TooooooooooooooooooT. :D

i hate racists.
i hate being discriminated.
it might be for joking purposes,
but tht doesn't make a difference.
why do you all treat it so lightly ?
is it because you've been born here,
and all your life so far is spent living here ?
because, really.
you have no idea how i feel.
you weren't dragged here at a thinking age.
i felt left out, always. damnit.
is it because of my nationality ?
do you judge me just by tht ?
do you blame my fault because of tht ?
do you think i don't care abt hearing these stuff ?
do you think i'm not human ?
you know what ?
i cried.
i was hurt.
i tried not to cry in front of everyone.
but in th end, i ended up crying in th canteen.
are you gonna blame tht on my nationality too ?

i hate emo posts. :/
but i can't help it. :/

i'm tired. ):
--
i'm in love with this song. (L)

A Little Too Not Over You - David Archuleta

It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else

It's for the best
I know it is but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

Aren't memories supposed to fade?
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it'd be this hard

Should be strong, movin' on but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own, how I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand!

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
And I really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

studying.

2009-09-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

i've actually started studying,
believe it or not. :D
oh yesh,
i'm very proud of myself for starting to study. :D
and it's History leh-hh. :D

FAITH IS MY SCREWDRIVER. (L)
AND I AM HER TOILET BOWL. (L)
LOL. :D

oh manzxc.
i feel like shitzxc.
inside luh, of course.
but it was kinda obvious this morning.
whoops.
i should be used to this but, idk leh-hh. :x
it's not my choice too-oo. :S
i hate you. i hate this.

MUST MUG-GG ! D:

trip.

2009-09-22T02:57:00.000-07:00

hilarious.
i got LOTSLOTSLOTS of pic. xD
even if my camera phone is unglam to th max.
me and michelle joined forces to take pics of everyone. :D
by everyone, i mean,
me, Michelle, ShiYun, Faith, HongRong & Glen.

me - 2 (taken by Michelle.)
Michelle - 1 (taken by me.)
ShiYun - 1 (taken by me.)
Faith - 2 and a half. ( 1 and a half taken by Michelle, 1 taken by
me.)
HongRong - 1 (taken by me.)
Glen - 3 (taken by Michelle.)

ownage.
Michelle took more pics than me. xD

LOOKIE. HILARIOUS SHITZXC. xD

screw emo post.

2009-09-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

i'd like to cover up tht nasty post down there. :D

hm.
been getting quite close with a lot of ppl nowadays. (:
i'm seriously very happy abt this. (:
but i guess everything comes with a price.
HALT.
we're not going there.
besides, i'm in a sorta-kinda speaking terms with JunHao now.
nope, no more guilt there. (:
back to th topic at hand.
i'm crazily happy with these new developments. LOL.
LALALA.
like, last time, i wasn't this close to them.
for exampleee,
FAITH WONG JIA JIA. (yeah, i went there. xD)
yupyup. :3
our love for toilet bowls has brought us together. :D
TEO TZE YEE.
yupyup, darling. :3
i like talking to you toooo. :D
and those are a lot of compliments, thankyou. (x
i just enjoy doing wht i like. (:
and you can call me anytime you hater comes back to your blog, th wimp. (:
AND, TH GUYS.
which half, you ask ?
hm. i can say both but it's leaning towards Daryl & co.
oh c'mon. if th previous posts weren't any indication.
you are dumb man.
DUMB.
no offense. xD
and they can get away with calling me airpork without getting socked. :D
tht's major points there. xD

i think my MSN's acting loopy. T-T

wth. spam my tagboard. o_o
love you guys. (L)

urgh. :/

2009-09-20T05:21:00.000-07:00

this utterly sucks. :/

i hate this long weekend.
i can't believe i'm saying this but i'd rather be in school.
at least i can actually have fun there.
sighs.
thank God, it's not a fight between my parents though.
i don't really know th full story.
but it goes along th line,
my uncle sorta had a hidden marriage with his girlfriend/wife. (?)
and my parents found out abt it through mail or email.
as i said, idk th full story.
and my uncle came back today.
i'm guessing he was supposed to talk to my parents.
but my dad was out.
so ended up with my mom and uncle talking in th dinner table.
i could hear every freaking thing they were saying.
so i rushed to find my earphones,
plugged it in and maximised to full volume.
hurt my ears manzxc.
but completely worth it. :/

enough of this shyt things.
BIKINI BOTTOM IS SAVED.
THANKS TO MY & FAITH'S AWESOME STORYTELLING SKILLZXC.
BOWS.

study.

2009-09-18T22:46:00.000-07:00

i should be studying, no ?

sigh.
such a good long weekend wasted on studying.
it's not fair.
though, i practically need this.
gah.
i wonder if i'll survive next year.
i mean, unlike most ppl, i actually HAVE to take triple science & a math.
'cause if i don't,
according to my parents,
i won't be able to attend university in Php.
yes, after sec4, i can go straight to university.
ain't tht bloody cool ?
then i'm gonna be living with my cousins.
by right, no parents around, whatsoever.
more bloody cool.
and then, there's tht laptop.
oh sweetsweet laptop. how i want you as mine.
gah.
science and math.
how i want to burn both of you do th ground.

so little ppl are online.
i guess tht means most of them are studying.
guess tht means i should too. :D

guilt trip.

2009-09-18T04:07:00.000-07:00

you didn't care.

all humans have emotions.
i'm sorry.
i just want to go back to speaking terms.
can we just forgive and forget ?
we both said sorry after all.

you didn't deserve such harsh words from my blunder.
i really am sorry. ):

habit.

2009-09-17T04:46:00.000-07:00

flailing my arms about,
when i'm angry or excited while saying something,
is a HABIT.
i know it looks stupid, but i can't really make it stop.

information overload.
i can't help but to feel a bit guilty.
DON'T HIT/SCOLD/KICK ME !
it's a natural thing for me, i guess, to be worried.
but it's like, if you get me angry for more than 4 days,
all th things you've told me would be revealed, i don't.
i didn't mean it to be like tht.
i was just super pissed, okay ?
i feel like i've backstabbed and betrayed him.
and tht i wasn't trustworthy.
but at th same time, i feel glad to get it off my chest.
no more lies to cover him up.
my mind is so screwed up now. ):

okay, enough depressing stuff.
SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :D
LAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :D
TEEHEEEEEEEEEEE. :D

canteen duty is screwed up today. _l_
yup, tht's a middle finger. :D
there were like, TONS of latecomers so we let half of them go.
but there were still a lot of latecomers, esp. sec1s.
so we were stuck there until IT lesson started.
IT was damn fun luh. HAHAH.
conver again after we've done our work. :D
today was with ShiYun, Faith, Daryl, Benjamin, Glen & JieMing.
JieMing kept spamming crap until my com lag.
then my whole internet shut down.
twice one leh.

Glen and HongRong were being complete idiots today.
maths lesson, idk wht they doing luh.
basically they were just rowdy.
and th fact tht Shytface was so near,
made me turn my chair to their direction and do th math work,
on HongRong's table.
english lesson was worse luh, omg.
they freaking kept playing with a piece of eraser.
...
don't ask, please.
free period was even crazier.
but th relieve teacher screwed it up for us. D:

sigh.
total conver overload right now.
got like, 7 ppl inside.
so i'm gonna go now. :D

alot of ppl says i shouldn;t feel guilty 'cause he also got say abt me.
so i'm not gonna be. :D

assume.

2009-09-16T03:12:00.000-07:00

woah.
so much stuff on a single day.

okay, so first.
i'm assuming some people might think tht,
with everything going on in class,
i'll be posting horrendously depressing stuff.
BUT I'M NOT. HAHAH. :D
YOU THOUGHT WRONG, SUCKERS. :D

F&N was hilarious today, omg. xD
after I finished off th ingredients list, we were free to th coms. :D
so me, Daryl, Faith & ShiYun convered altogether.
woohoo. :D
talked total crappp.
oh. and Daryl & ShiYun kept bullying me.
LOL. th reason, you don't need to know. xD
Glen joined in too.
so did Benjamin.
omg. tht was freaking hilarious.
i kept screenshooting everything as well as laughing my ass off.
a grand total of 30 screenshots.
a big part of th starting and th ending, not included.
whoopsie.
but th middle was th funniest. xD

AIRPORK SPREADS THE LOVEEEEEEEE. (L)(L)(L)

ace was okay bah.
i heard some stuff through AHEM & AHEM.
this class is seriosuly damn confusing manzxc.
oh. and Lizhen & Glen kept giving spoilers of th movie we were watching.
so me & ShiYun kept telling them to shut up.
and we kept laughing out loud everytime so everybody was like, looking at us.
fun manzxc. xD

after th SC meeting,
me, ShiYun, Faith & Daryl talked abt random stuff.
HongRong was there at first but left to play basketball.
ShuHeng came there at some time but, bleh.
LOL. no offence.
just tht, th four of us know a lot more abt wht we're talking abt.
i catched up on th latest stuff tht i didn't know.
shocker luh. :O
and, of course, th issue abt Shytface.

dudes, we seriously need to give them a nickname tht i can use here.

and i kind of spilled everything i know.
i'm super pissed, can.
and Shytface made me lie so much before.
this will make up for it.
and, yes, i did get brainwashed. ):
it's depressing when i think abt it, omg.

you ppl are loved. (L)

a little preview of our conver.
this was just beginning.
and yes, Glen was in this.
he just used my com. LOL.
guess which one he typed. xD

funny bone. LOL.

2009-09-15T05:12:00.000-07:00

here's to Faith. :D
'cause if i nvr post this, idk what she'll do to me. :D

FAITH WONG HAS FOUND HER FUNNY BONE. :D

AND IT'S ON HER FOREHEAD. ROFLMAO. :D

hahah. okay, Faith ? (:

seriously, screw you.
screwscrewscrew youuu, bytch.
DIE IN A HOLE.
yes, i am still pissed with this person.
more so when i found out new stuff.

what ? so you don't care if i don't talk to you ever again but you do when it's her ?

and now, it's my fault ?

screw you, man. screw you.

don't take this to heart, -AHEM-
i know you're pissed at him also.
don't worry, i understand.
special thanks again to ShiYun & Faith.
thanks for cheering me up and supporting me.
i know both of you are mad at him too but i can't help feeling tht maybe i dragged both of you into this as well.
well, i appreciate all of it.
hm. idk if th guys need special thanks or not. LOL.
they just keep cracking jokes abt him anyway.
and are being VERY NOSY ABT THIS WHOLE THING-YYY.
especially Glen, hor.
LOL. but nvrmind since you guys support me, after all.
i think. o_o
HAHAH. :D

i still miss Darrell and Tigger.
Maan suspects they've been toy-napped and hidden by Daboy.
which is probably true.
ARGH.
but let's not jump to conclusions. LOL.
i'm gonna storm their house soooon.
oh wait, i can't.
Vodka hates me. D:

down, up.

2009-09-14T02:26:00.000-07:00

well, this was a shitty day.
at least, during school hours.

hey shitface.
let's make this clear and simple.
you don't talk to me, i don't talk to you.
alright ?

ugh. horrible time during school hours.
i don't even want to talk abt it.
basically, i just didn't want to talk.
except for ShiYun & Faith.
'cause, you know, they know abt th whole 'incident'.
pishtosh.

after school was better.
actually, i WHOLE LOT better.
i'm so glad i stayed back.
even though i made Faith miss her show.
sorry, Faith. :S
but we had fun, right ? xD
LOL.
special thanks to Daryl, HongRong, Glen & ShuHeng for cheering me up.
even if they didn't know i needed one. :D
just talked total crappp.
ranging from airpork to rollercoasters. ROFL.
HAHAH. tht was a big load off my shoulder,
especially when we started talking abt 'stuff'. (:
so after Daryl went off, we took one whole loop.
so it was, Faith, then ShuHeng, then HongRong, then Glen, then me. :D
LOL. :D
then after HongRong went off, me and Glen started talking abt -AHEM- and changing.
then suddenly jump to talking abt last weekend's sleepover.
funny luh. xD

sigh. i feel much better.
really.
special thanks to Faith & th guys mentioned. (:

downer.

2009-09-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

well this sucks.

my oh-so-wonderful mood went down th drain.
why, you ask ?
i left Darrell and Tigger back at Eos'.
i'm not kidding when i say i almost wanted to cry.
i am super pissed with myself.
and nobody's replying to me.
except for Maan.
but she just laughed at me.
this is seriosuly no laughing matter.
without those two, i don't even feel like completing my remainding homeworks.
this fcking sucks.
and to top off this wonderful mood..
JunHao kept bitching at me.
fck you man, fck you.
so i just signed out.
_l_

sleepover. :D

2009-09-12T03:54:00.000-07:00

i love sleepovers, don't you ?
especially at Eos's. :3

during thursday night; or friday morning at 2,
my mom set off an alarm, woke up, told me to go to sleep and then go back to sleep.
i know, i was caught. LOL.
i don't careee. :D
'cause i was supposed to wake up at 10.30.
needed to eat lunch with Maan at Sembawang.
after we ate lunch, hung around Maan's until arnd 4 then we went off.
then Vodka licked my leg, complete with bubbles. xD
but Vodka suddenly hated me. D:
WAH. Dx
oh well.
played haunted house for a while. LOL.
then went to watch A Cinderella Story.
in th room, we played th one word game/three word game.
with me, being th randomest; poor Eos, she was after me. xD
when it became boring, we switched to th classic, Truth or Dare.
Eos & Danielle did a dare; both including Daboy. LOLOLOL. :D
then it became Truth or Truth because i said tht all dares was supposed to be related to Daboy. xD
evil, yes.
but nobody wants him to get angry so we changed it to Truth or Truth. (:
after a few confessions.. *winkwink* xD
everyone was sleepy, even me. though i didn't want to sleep yet.
originally, we should have been sleeping in pairs; me with Eos.
but it changed to me and Danielle. :3

Daboy woke me up. __
he kept calling Danielle to wake up but kept throwing pillows at me.
when he threw th big, heavy pillow at me, i got up and chased him back to his room.
of course, i was swaying arnd after tht.
i AM sleepy after all.
Adiel & Dyara went to swim while th rest of us looked after them but didn't swim.
they just played foosball. yes, they had foosball in tht condo.
cool, i know.
after tht, went back to Eos' room to catch some shut-eye.
Daboy woke me up again. __
so i chased him back again. bastard.
slept again, he woke me up again.
well, after tht, he didn't do it again.
'cause i didn't sleep again. LOL.
i woke up and TitaMalou told me, "pumayag mama mo."
then i was like, "huh ?"
turned out, we were gonna watch a movie. xD
i bathe last and just watched Daboy bully Ella with Dynel.
really.
Eos & Daboy may be th oldest among us but they act th most childish. :D
we watched Aliens In The Attic. :D
after th movie, we walked arnd for a bit then went back to Eos'.
i left my earphones, alright ?

i want them to sleepover here next. :D
but i need it to be a holiday again and we've got enough room. ):

right ?

2009-09-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

urh.
i feel like i'm starving myself.
but then again, i haven't had much of an appetite lately.
a quick brunch. (breakfast & lunch.)
you know, since i wake up so late.
and oftenly, bread for dinner.
huh.
this is making me feel restless.
i feel like i should be happy abt this but i'm not.
sigh. might as well go with th flow.
shrug.

oh yes.
N** still sucks.
**Y agrees with me too.
he's in a bad mood, doesn't give him th right to blatantly throw obscenities at me.
worse still, i don't understand them. most of them, actually.
so what smart-me does best, ask someone who understands.
and yes, it is, in fact, obscenities.
die, bytch.
die in a hole.
but oh well, i'm kinda used to th attitude.
nothing i can do abt it.
shrug.

long.

2009-09-09T03:58:00.000-07:00

wow.
it's been so long since my last post.
and it's abt me crying.
shucks, tht's pathetic.
anywhooo.. :D

i'm quite satisfied with myt results.
like, HELL YEAH ! :D:D:D
heh. :D
and i finally got a new phone. (:
an E63 and th phone tht T** wants. xD
bwahahah. xD
but this com had a total shutdown.
yes, all my files are gone. Dx
MY 735 SONGS ! T^T
on th bright side, i get to use Limewire now. :D
oh sweet, sweet Limewore. :3
oh how i love you so. x3

PMS.

2009-08-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

my eyes feel so dry.
did i really cry tht much ?
worse, i was caught crying.
fine, my brother long knew i was crying.
he went out of th room, for goodness sake.
so i guess he deserves brownie points for tht.
and AteCaren didn't push it with th questions.
you really shouldn't provoke a PMS-ing woman.
i'll bitch at you like crazy.

so why didn't i just bitch and bitch on th phone ?
'cause i was PMS-ing.
and i'm moody when i'm PMS-ing.
i don't care if this is a personal matter.
PMS-ing is a valid reason to me, any day.
so i was keeping quiet with occasional replies in front of th com.
then i started crying.
which was a horrible thing since th com was in th living room.
i couldn't take it so i logged off and climbed up to my bed.
bluffed an excuse to end th conversation and high-tailed it to talk to ShiYun.
i couldn't even make one sentence.
i just kept crying and sobbing and those shit.
she says tht half of th reason i was crying endlessly was because i was PMS-ing.
i laughed. hahah.
because it was true.
after talking to her, i quickly looked for chocolate.
why ? it's comfort food like ice cream, popcorn and frappes.
then th worse thing happened.
th phone started ringing.
and i din't know wht to do with it.
so i gave it to Dynel to answer but he didn't want to. D:
eventually, th ringing stopped luh.
and thankfully, no call-backs.
so now, my comfort-anything is listening to new songs from new albums.
i seriously need to buy them.

i don't feel like coming to school early.
i'm gonna camp out in th canteen and splurge on chocolates tht i'll buy.
and finish up history, of course.
good thing, tomorrow is canteen duty.

i am a human.
i make mistakes.
i acknowledge those mistakes.
i regret those mistakes.
i deserve those scoldings.
but i'm a PMS-ing human.
i get stressed easily.

karaoke.

2009-08-20T03:34:00.000-07:00

i feel like i should public this back. LOL. :D

i'm so gonna ace Geography. (x
manymany thanks to Ms.Nisa for th notes. :D
and yes, we were kind enough to spread th necessary notes to everyone. :D
highfive to th person who listed down all points. :D
i did toooo. xD

recess was.. interesting. xD
me & Faith kept conversing through paper abt random/hilarious stuff.
then JunHao keep taking.
then kept hitting me. don't ask why, though it's hilarious.
so th 2-way coner-on-paper became 3-way.
hilarious. xD
ShiYun, Daryl & Benjamin kept trying to read but we didn't let themzxczxc. xDD
those things are freaking confidential.
it contains plans for pure torture involving:
- dying in a hole.
- obese ppl.
- bikinis.
- and Mrs. Yip. (ROFLMAO.)
but ShiYun got angry because we kept waking her up. ._.
so we started singing. LMAO.
random karaoke style with Daryl. xD
after tht, Disney songs.
then cartoon songs like, Teen Titans & Super Monkey Hyper Team Force Go.
all-out LOL manzxc.
but they started singing Barney songs.. =_=
so i just blocked my ears and kept screaming at them to stop.
those sadists.
and so, me & Faith started talking abt old cartoon Network.
and how modern Cartoon Network sucks.
i wanna watch Cow and Chicken ! D:

one more paper !
jiayou, jiayou everyone !
:D:D:D

exhausted.

2009-08-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

in a span of 5 hrs..
- I slept peacefully on th living room couch.
- I got 2 phone calls from th same person.
- I screamed at my baby brother for taking my iPod while i'm still sleeping.
- my father learned tht i'm called 'mae' in school. xD

so exhausted.
these 2 days were awesome.
(:

blank. ._.

2009-08-03T03:00:00.000-07:00

i don't want to post any depressing stuff again.
but it seems hard.
so i just want to say..
i'm blank. ._.
utterly blank. ._.

i tried listing everything to be unhappy abt.
but it just made me feel more..
blank. ._.

blankblankblank. ._.
i feel so robotic, man. ._.
i can't bring myself to smile or even frown. ._.

footdrills.

2009-07-31T04:32:00.000-07:00

wah. footdrills all th way can die one. x_x

today, got 6 sec2 tht came.
must clap leh. SIX ppl came. :D
so anyway, Nadia and Afiq didn't come. sad. ):
but we were divided into 2 seperate groups.
me, ChongBoon & Eugene.
then ZengJun, Rickson & Shafiq had to do campcraft theory.
but really quite fun leh. LOL.
somemore, i shout timing. xD
i screw up a few times but can luh. :D
and we learned a new drill today. (:
marching is totally better than stationery drills. (:
left, left, left, right, left, check, up, 2, 3, 4, 5, down, check, left, left, left, right.
LOL.
i got more badges, btw. :D:D:D
i have five now, in total. (:
but my footdrill badge still isn't here though. ):
oh well.
at least i have my NCDCC unit shirt now. :D
it's duper nice, okay. (:

there's no more cca until th end of common tests.
idk if i should be happy or sad. LOL. xD

twisted sunburn.

2009-07-27T06:28:00.001-07:00

Neo Jun Hao twisted my sunburnt arm ! Dx
i shall skin him alive tomorrow.
even if he alrdy apologised.
like, after putting down th phone on him 3times.
squishy, you suck..
still on with th plans ? :D

i was duper pissed at NJH today.
stupid squishy.
and this brightened up my day. :D
enjoyenjoyenjoy. :D
---
- Being weird is like being normal, only better.
- Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
- Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. (thisis my iPod wallpaper. :D)
- Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.
- When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.
- It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
- They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
- I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
- Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
- Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
- One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
- It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
- Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
- We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
- Life was so simple when boys had cooties!
---
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...Copy this onto your profile and help stop racism!
---

Girls

are like

apples on trees.

The best ones are

at the top of the tree.

The boys dont want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

---
this made me smile.
hahah.
and by th time i finished retyping this,
i've forgiven NJH.
and th plan is ongoing. LOL.
dun-dun-duuun.

camp.

2009-07-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

my poor red nose. ):

tiring man.
we only had 1day ATC, yet i'm so tired.
whoosh~
basically, our day was cut into half.
morning to afternoon is water activities.
then afternoon to night is high elements.
for water activities, we built a raft man. :D
seriosuly, we built a raft.
with 5 plastic poles and 4 barrels.
damn cool one, i tell you.
then everyone had to sit on it while in th water.
i had th best seat man.
i was in front, between two barrels with my legs on each side of th middle pole.
like horseback riding. except i was in water ! :D:D:D
after tht, we had to kayak.
you know, th usual.
but this one, we took with a partner.
not like, one-star & expedition. solo is cool, okay ?
iand i miss capsizing th kayak on my own. :D
for th high elements, my group did abseiling first.
tht was th first time i ever did abseiling.
for previous camps, i only did zipline/flying fox, rock climbing and th rope thingies.
quite cool, th abseiling. wee~
after tht was rock climbing.
i reached th top, can. hahah. so shiok.
then after tht, we went to th rope thingies.
first off was, you go up th pole, stand on top of it and jump off while trying to grab th trapeze.
you know, th circus ppl ? yeah, like tht.
i had th mindset of being too short to reach it so i didn't really even try to. hahah. xD
but it was damn cool jumping off.
th next rope thingies was th multi rope.
since i did it before, during p5 camp, i was fast. hahah.
nyahahah. next up was zipline/flying fox.
but then, no time for me to go alrdy.
'cause i was helping with th runway. unfair, no ?
then since i was campfire leader, we had to plan for th campfire.
we got out of pumping because of tht. (x
planned alrdy, campfire starts.
i think th campfire a bit boring leh.
th campers weren't hyper enough.
ZzZ. not th campfire leaders' fault, okay ?
i was hyper tht time, you know.
:D

i want th WS NCDCC shirt. D:
i'm so going to take it on monday.
i don't care, i'm gonna search for Ms.Chan.
th shirt is damn cool, can.
too bad, don't have th sec2 names.
only sec3 and their positions.
sad. ):

!@#$%^&*()

2009-07-21T03:04:00.000-07:00

FCK YOU LUH.
YOU WANT YOUR PHONE ?
*BANGBANGBANG*
HOPE YOU LIKE IT WITH A BROKEN SCREEN !
HERE'S A KICK TO YOUR FACE !

it's been so long since th last time i really exploded at my brother.
he needs to go and die.
i'm still panting from being too angry.
fck him luh.
i sleeping so peacefully then want to come and whine to me like a bitch.
i just straight out screamed at him, "PUTANGINA MO!"
and just kicked him in th face.
yeah, his specs flew off.
being on th top of a doubledecker bed has advantages.
i don't even care anymore.
so i just gave th phone 3 loud bangs on the bed.
it has 3 pretty cracks across th screen now.
i need to scream my voice out, damnit.
i've already punched my metal bed 2 times.
and th computer table, idk how many times.
fck care pain.
and for what ?
just to sms some bloody girl, "you got do homework already ?"
"which ones must we do ?"
FCKING SICK, CAN ?
IF HE WANTS TO GO AND ASK TH GIRL FOR STEAD THEN JUST ASK, DAMNIT !
ARGH !

from this day on,
my brother shall be referred to as a whipped little bitch.
he deserves it.
what ?
he thinks just because i listened to KuyaPoly abt being more patient and stuff,
he's gonna use tht to his own advantage ?
i'm so back to th beginning with him.
he piss me off,
i bite his arm.
i pull off his hair.
i pour water on him.
i pull off his ears.
i kick his stomach/face/dick.
im gonna pinch him until blood comes out.
he needs to be reminded who won every single fight we had since young.
i'm gonna go back to being primal.

don't even try to reprimand me for talking abt tht bitch like this.
i. will. scream. at. you.
i haven't been this angry in a long time.
i have been patient long enough.
i gave him a bloody $20 bag, what more does he bloody want ?!

i'm not gonna use a phone now.
just to let everyone know.
please help me spread th message until i get a new phone.

westlife. :3

2009-07-15T06:19:00.000-07:00

westlife songs bring so much childhood memories. :3
i remember when i memorized th whole 'My Love' song.
and when me & my cousins sang along to 'Uptown Girl'. ^3^

today was fun.
teehee. :3
made so much noise in canteen after school. xD
i could see some of th seniors looking at us. ^3^
then me & Faith was supposed to go home but,
i dragged her along to th playground.
to see if th guys are really playing there.
and they were. LOL.
at th exercise thingies, anyway.
something happened and everyone started laughing. xD
ROFLMAO.
almost pee'd leh. xD

ohhell.
i need to study all these ?
amfootah. xl

shopshopshop.

2009-07-12T01:24:00.000-07:00

i found another use for those xtra allowancces. xD

seriously.
i went into full-on shopping mode. Dx
spent more than $55. O:
uh-oh.
my wallet lost another $50 note ! Dx
oh well.
no pain, no gain. x3

th guitar broke. Dx
!@#$%^&*()

sarcasm.

2009-07-09T22:27:00.000-07:00

well.
isn't this fun ?

life in school ?
ugh. roller coaster ride. =.=
on th bright side, i have no idea why i have a lot of extra allowance. xP
which meant i could drown in Double Choco Frappe all week.
Double Choco makes me happy.
school makes me sad.
do th math, ppl.
well, i could have saved it but..
a depressed girl needs her frappe. :D

finally, it's friday.
thank you, Lord.
gonna go for basketball tomorrow.
this is confirmed.
hell. i need this after tht hell of a week.

wah.
i wonder if my bill is gonna explode.
i DO remember tht i have free incoming.
but why do they always explode whenever i'm on th phone for..
oops.
more than an hour ? xD
oh well. i'll blame _. :D

farfar away.

2009-07-07T03:23:00.000-07:00

these are times when i feel like,
i should've taken up on tht Aussie migrate plan.

but, you know, i'll miss Eos, Danielle, Adiel, Maan, Danna, Ate Mae..
okay, fine, i'll miss Daboy, Ralph, Arbie, Diether, Noyx2, Tianx2.
th little buggers rub off on me.
and i know tht,
no matter where i go, it's still high school.
drama and all.
so might as well be somewhere where someone can comfort me.
though, no comforting has been issued.. yet.

i refuse to tell it to Maan.
she was annoying me with constant rants abt _ & _.

i've alrdy sms-ed my deardear Eos for comfort.
i've alrdy told her part of th reasons.
she hasn't replied yet, though.
you better !
i WILL hunt you down, get it ?
i've alrdy got a reason to visit your new lovely home.
i'm giving your dear brother(bleugh.), Daboy, his one-month-late birthday presnt.
i feel guilty for not giving him a present before we left.
so, yeah, i'm giving him my precious hama beads guitar.
he better appreciate tht, damnit.
there's a note attched for him.

on th other note:
i was feeling depressed just before science.
don't ask why, though.
thanks for th comfort, Michelle & Lizhen. (:
so i wrote this up.

My rules to being a mediator/middle-person:
1.) Being neutral does not give you permission to expose what you heard from one party to th other and vice versa.
2.) Being neutralmeans you have to know, understand and respect each patry's point of view.
3.) Being neutral clearly means you must not take sides. Do not be biased, per say.
4.) Being neutral does not grant you permission to judge each party, from what you're told.
5.) Know th situation, inside and out.
6.) As much as possible, try to keep th situation/problem between you and both parties.
7.) If you think revealing one party's distress to th other might solve th problem, weigh th pros and cons first. Revealing anything is risky.
8.) Consider what's best for th situation/problem.
9.) Remember to take note of each party's attirude, character and personality. Everything lies in them.
10.) All in all, you're not a miracle worker. If both parties do not intend to make up, never force them. Let them be.

okay, tht was mainly what i thought up.
and what i tried to follow.
i stand by my beliefs.
i WILL be a psychologist.
even if A Maths will cause brain damage.

2009-07-05T03:08:00.000-07:00

laughoutlouddd. xD

so cute. i'm in love with this guy.

i'm bored.
this is cute.
end of story.
:D

high school.

2009-07-04T22:34:00.000-07:00

i just remembered..
high school sucks.

i know for a fact tht,
high school is where everybody learns something abt life.
where everybody experiences th cruel twists and turns of th merciless world.
where th saying, 'life is a bitch', comes alive.
then again, high school is also where we experience th most fun in our lives.
tht's why when we're hit by life's natural 'problems'..
we're most likely take aback.
tht's why most kids in high school, rebel.
they're frustrated with everything arnd them and needs to let it out.
sometimes, they don't know who to trust which makes everything worse.
honestly, i don't think i can trust someone so easily, now.

blah.
i hate these kind of posts.
will post again later when i'm high. :D

tired.

2009-07-04T03:23:00.000-07:00

spring carnival was tiring..
but fun. LOL. :D

met up with Lizhen at Mcdonalds and had DoubleChoco. :D
then took taxi to school.
set up th stall, which is waaaay too small.
had quite a lot of customers, actually.
so much tht we ran out of prizes.
picked up Eos, Maan, Danna & Danielle.
they enjoyed their, 'slowest roller coaster'. qouted from Eos. =.=
they kept bugging me abt _. =.=
read this, mga bwishet. may ibang crush un. lovesick pa nga eh. LOL.
left them to tour themselves while i helped out at th stall. a bit.
senior says i'm a bit too high, hor. LOL.
blah.
Eos went off first then followed by th rest, to my house.
i wanted to go home too.
but cannot.
blah.
in th end, i nvr got to go to th basketball. TT.TT
supposedly, released at 3 pm.
reached home at 6 pm.
stupid. my feet hurts like crap.
i'm gonna go rest now.

i'm sorry, infinity times. ):
i feel very guilty. ):
please don't be angry. ):

i have no fcking idea where th song in this blogskin is coming from !
help me.

funneh.

2009-07-02T00:37:00.000-07:00

hahah. i found something to take my mind off.. stuff.
these are all found in deviantart.
i was bored and did some browsing.
--
"yaoi is gay.. your argument is invalid."
LOL. those who don't know what yaoi is,
or not a fangirl of it would nvr understand. xD

"does who say tht first kisses don't matter should just go and die."
hahah. i somehow kind of agree with tht but,
there's always a chance tht it'll be stolen by someone disgusting or you just plain hate. xD

"why are sparkly vampires so appealing ?"
i couldn't agree more. LOL.
i don't think Edward is all tht handsome. =.=
i don't get th fangirling of it.

"what's hotter than one sexy man is two sexy men."
okay, i laughedoutloudd at this one as soon as i read it. xD

"it's really cute, round and bouncy. like a muffin."
ROFL ! xDD
tht's talking abt someone's butt. xDD
wahaha. xDD

"i'm not short, i'm fun size."
i couldn't agree more. :DD
--
i'm going to continue flipping through deviantart now. xD
enjoyenjoy these quotable qoutes.
it made me laughoutlouddd. :DD

truth hurts.

2009-07-01T03:32:00.000-07:00

i was shocked.
genuinely shocked.

last saturday and today,
i'm reminded what an ugly place th modern human world can be.
a place full of traitors, liars and fake ppl.
i'm reminded how gullible i can be.
how naive i can be.
how easily i trust ppl.
social climbers, gossipers and kiss-asses pollute this world.
i can still remember when i first had a taste of,
'th truth hurts like a bitch.'
it's somehow like a medicine.
no matter how bitter and how much you don't want it, it'll always make you feel you better.
no matter how it hurts and how much you don't want to hear it, it's there to knock some sense into you.
i just tasted tht bitter medicine again.
i'll admit tht i may have nvr believed it last year.
i would have asked her abt it.
but now, i just now tht tht's th truth.
i had my suspicions but didn't have th guts to find out.
well, thank you for telling me. (:
i really appreciate it. (:

i had something else to say.
but i forgot what it was.
aiya, nehmind.
just wanna say tht it sucks tht psychology course need an A1 for A Maths.
suck luh.
this means i must study from now on leh.
ZzZ.
and i feel like quitting student council.
i'll give it two or three more weeks.
then i'll decide.
har.

two weeks.

2009-06-29T00:31:00.000-07:00

i can't believe it.
so much happened when i was away ?

you, why are you botak ?
not tht i saw you.
yet.
prepare to be laughed at.

you, what are you planning ?
you talked to me and tht isn't normal.
i heard you're purposely doing it.
what's your hidden motive ?

you, are you out to get me jealous ?
get real.
i'm not gonna lie, you're handsome.
at times.

you, how can you spread those things abt her ?
i know her since young.
she is not like tht.
i hate ppl who diss my friends more than those who diss me.

you, how stupid could you have been ?
did you not listen to everything we told you ?
dying ? i think you are and it's your fault.
i don't think i can help you now.

you, i thought you're all okay ?
seems to me like you're just jealous.
why don't you look at yourself for a minute ?
hypocrite.

you, stop telling me all these things abt her.
you've known her longer than i have.
she may not be perfect.
but you're still friends, idiot.

you, do you have a grudge against me ?
stop it.
just stop it.
i know i'm not perfect.

you, stop this nonsense.
you promised.
you're a lazy bum.
stop making excuses.

--

well, isn't tht nice ?
i doubt you'll ever find out who they are.
except for th first one.
hahah.
i have time management problems. :S

i'm back.

2009-06-25T14:31:00.000-07:00

hey all you ppl. :D
woah.
how long was i gone ?
3 weeks ?

okay, to summarise everything first..
first week, we were at my cousins' house at Melbourne.
still had internet access so i talked to some ppl, yeah ?
i love my cousins. i missed them too.
second week, we were at a relatives' house at Sydney.
kinda complicated family ties so let's leave it at relatives.
kinda bleugh.
spoiled kid alert.
whatever.
was suppose to be resting and doing homework for th third week, last week of holidays but..
as some of you might have heard.
i was positive with H1N1.
whatever.
it was just fever, cough and runny nose.
curse every single one of them.
they stuck me in a hospotal room for 6 days with my mom and baby brother.
me and my baby brother were positive.
my mom was there as caretaker.
i hate hospitals.

i'm tired.
i've got only 3 days of holidays left.
i hate it.
i made a sched of 2 days of homework and then i'm gonna enjoy my last day.
i need to do some shopping.
anybody wanna accompany me ?
don't worry.
i don't have it already.
plus, i'm immune to it too, now.
run away from me and i will rip you to shreds.

pictures may not be put up here.
check my mom's facebook or something.
not sure if i'm gonna put up in mine.

goodbye. :D

2009-06-06T02:51:00.000-07:00

well.
adios, amigos. :D
hahah.
this is one of th wonders of Changi Airport. :D
free internet connection. (:
hahah.
so this probably will be th last goodbye i'm gonna say.
'cause i didn't bring my phone along. :P
i'm coming back though. ;D
thx for everyone who wished me a safe trip. :D
now, i'm off to myself choccie. (x
hahah. bye. :D
see everyone in 2 weeks time, kay. (:

lovelots. :D

ZzZ.

2009-05-29T03:29:00.000-07:00

F-R-E-E-D-O-M ! :D:D:D
i'm FREE ! :D
no more worrying abt school and homework anymore !
i won't be doing my holiday homeworks tht early but i plan to at least touch it before we fly off. (x

th last three days has been (quite)fun. LOL. xD
first day of so-called 'camp', we had to do our IPW banners.
ZzZ. I did almost all of th painting as well as th touch-up. Hahah. :D
Plain but neat. (x
Had a bit of trouble with th original design but we got arnd it. :p

second day was th most tiring. =.=
had to sell th carnival tickets.
DOOR-TO-DOOR SALES !
grouped up with ShiYun, ShanJing, JunHao & Daryl.
first block of flats was C-R-A-P.
stingy old ppl. =.=
went for lunch after figuring out where we were.
yeah, we got lost a bit. (x
went to McDonalds since there's nowhere else to go. ZzZ.
crapped with Ms.SummerSoh there. xD
and tried to phone hunt. xDxDxD
yeah, so AteMae is gonna think abt it and Daboy just plainly said no.
yeah, they're th only ones i reached. ZzZ.
tried th new block of flats together with Faith's group.
28 floors each block, can you believe it ? =.=
so we split into two groups and did alternate levels.
since it was suggested for a guy to always be with a girl, (wthell.)
me & ShiYun didn't do together. most of th time. :p
she went with Daryl&ShanJing while i went with th human volcano. =.=
he looked like he was gonna explode any minute throughout th whole block.
because of so-called 'guy's intuition'. bullshit. =.=

i think _'s okay. And no, I'm not trying to barge into your or his life. I just want to know why you hate him so much. Don't make it sound as if i'm trying to peek into your life.

saw Lizhen's group after tht.
then Faith's group.
then everybody slacked while some went up so continue. LOL.
MsSummerSoh came and shoo-ed us into going back to work. LOL.
in conclusion,
1.) we sold a total of 7 tickets.
2.) my feet hurt like crap.
3.) i did absolutely no talking. xD
except for a few fillers, i just stood there and helped them hold their stuff. Hahah.
most is Chinese anyways, so i didn't need to do. xD
just dragged JunHao or ShiYun or Daryl to a door. xD

third day, is super slack. :D
had 1hr of reccess, you know. xD
so spent half of it just hanging out at th hall listening to Westlife songs. :p
but they kept changing songs. cheh !
i want to find th CDs ! D:
i still remember th lyric after all these times. :D
i still remember when me and my cousins used to sing their songs all th time.
they were gaga over them. LOL.
i was too young to notice. Hahah. I just like th songs. :p
then slept throughout sex ed talk. xD
nice to sleep with my bag as pillow. :D
and i simply hate sex ed. =.=
i think MsYee caught me sleeping. LOL. but nvr scolded me. :p
ate then took LRT for a loop.
cannot pangseh Faith, right ? :D
we were talking abt random stuff and TapTapRevenge songs when something, or someone, happened on th LRT.
hahah. i figured it out way before JunHao did.
quite handsome but too tall already. xD
i got a hit from tht.
and JunHao told me something oh-so shocking in th bus.
DO NOT JUDGE TH BOOK BY ITS COVER !

greetings. :D

2009-05-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

WEE !
I'M A YEAR OLDER, PPL ! :D:D:D
wait..
OMFG !
I'M GETTING OLDER ! Dx
(ROFL.)
--
So, yeah. today is my birthday. :D
and i did something incredibly stupid. xP
When my cousins & aunt & uncle called, I kept saying I'm 15.
laughoutlouddd. my mom had to remind me tht i'm still 14. xD
funnyarse. :p
so, THANK YOU to everybody who greeted me. :D
--
(By order. :P)
Face-To-Face: AteCaren, Dylan, Mama, Papa
Blog: ShanChih, Farisah, ClassBlog(Lizhen)
SMS: Lizhen, TitaMiriam, Maan, Mae, Danna, Deena, ShanChih, Eosm ShiYun
Phone Call: TitaRuby, AteOnai, Julius, Olive, TitoBoy, TitoAllan, Danielle, Eos, Daboy, Adiel, TitaMalou
MSN: ShuHeng, Johnson, JieMing, Deanna, Xinyi, Florence, PeiYing
Facebook: TitoJommel, TitaChiqui, KuyaAnthony
Present: Lizhen, ShiYun, Mama, AteKaye
--
Made-My-Days:
Lizhen - Huh. Funny stunt you pulled with th keychain present. LOL. LOVEYOU ! :D
ShiYun - Thankyouverymuch for th handmade present. LOVEYOU ! :D
Mama - Sorry I forgot to wear your bday present. I really forgot abt it. Thankyouverymuch for it. LOVEYOUVERYMUCH ! :D
Mae - ZzZ. 2yrs more, bah. Too early for boyfriend. Guyfriends, can luh. LOVEYOU ! :D
Danielle - ZzZ. Please, please, please stop addressing me with 'po'. LOL. LOVEYOU ! :D
Daboy - ZzZ. You didn't even know why or who was on th other side of th phone. Well, appreciated tht you at least greeted. PEACE ! :D (yours is soon. xD)
TitaMalou - ZzZ. Please po. Stop addressing me with 'po'. You're older than me po. Hahah. LOVEYOUPO ! :D
--
kay, bah. :D
thankyou everyone who greeted me today and in advance.
i could hug you all but i need my personal space. LOL.
cheerios ! :D

kiss in the rain. guitar.

2009-05-21T03:04:00.000-07:00

so cool..
i wanna learn how to play this song on th guitar, please. (:
hurhurhur.
Daboy, teach me how to play this ! :D
or if you can play this and let me listen, also can. :D
as a bday gift ? please ? (x
this song just rocks too much luh. :D
either in piano or in guitar, it sounds awesome. :D
thank you to Lizhen for helping me download th piano one. :D

ain't th song 'Which Backstreet Boy Is Gay?' cool ? xD
don't forget hilarious. :D
me & Lizhen were listening to it on my iPod during Science. :D
then we suddenly laughoutlouddd, you know. xD
and we kept fighting over th lyrics. :p
listened to it during PE & recess also. :p

LOL.

2009-05-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

okay, this song just rocks, yeah ? xDD
made me laughoutlouddd. xDD
i lovelovelove this. xD
this made my day sososo much. xDD
yesterday also. :D
i'm so glad i took up MMV hopping again.
and, of course, the occasional short stories. (:

you know, what ?
i'm so damn proud of myself. :D
i got inspired from a couple of tagalog fics.
and let me tell you, it's damn DEEEEEEEEEP ! xD
i couldn't freaking understand some of it.
can almost be a tagalog teacher. :D
so i decided to make a tagalog fic of my own.
damn headache, you know.
i had to open a english-tagalog translation site.
i didn't realize it was tht hard.
it's been 4 long years since i last had my tagalog lessons. ):
oh well, im'ma get ppl to help me translate it to tagalog.
MIGRAINE !
ugh.
I CAN DO THIS ! :D

2009-05-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Lizhen. :D
since i'm bored with nothing to do..
--
1. Real name : Ellen Mae Cabral Pura. :D
2. Nickname : Ellaine. :D
3. Star sign : Gemini. :D

4. Male or Female : Female. :D
5. Primary school : Kranji. :D
6. Secondary school : WestSpring. :D
7. JC/POLY : Not yet. :D
8. Hair color : Black. :D
9. Hair Long or Short : Err, middle ? :D
10. Loud or Quiet : Both. :D
11. Sweat or Jeans : Jeans. :D
12. Phone or Camera : iPod. :D
13. Health freak : (ohmy)Freak only. :D
14. Drink or Smoke : Drink. :D (water. :D)
15. Do you have crush on someone : Err, idk. =.= (seriously.)
16. Eat or Drink : Depends. :D
17. Piercings : 2. :D (my ears. :D)
18. Tattoo : None. :D

Have You Ever ;
19. Been in an airplane : Yup. :D
20. Been in a relationship : Friendships are relationships too. :D
21. Been in a car accident : Not really. :D
22. Been in a first fight : Yup. :D

First ;
23. First piercing : When I was a baby. :D
24. First best friend : Arianna♥. :D (ILY.)
25. First award : Leadership award in Grade1. :D
26. First crush : Hm. KENNETH/KIKO♥ ! :D (my bestest guy friend. :D)
27. First vacation : Province in Mindoro. LOL. xD

Last ;
28. Last person you talked to : Dynel. :D
29. Last person you texted to : Maan. :D
30. Last person(s) you watched a movie with : Maan, Danna, Ella, Dyara, Eos, Danielle, Kryshan, Jan(sp?). LOL. :D
31. Last food you eat : Cheese omelette and rice. :D
32. Last movie you watch : Beverly Hills Chihuahua. ZzZ. planning on watching movie nxt week. =.=
33. Last song you listen : First time - Lifehouse. :D
34. Last thing you bought : Chewy Junior Cream Puff. :D
35. Last person you hugged : Dylan. :D

Favourites ;
36. Food : Cream puffs. :D
37. Drink : Milk. :D
38. Clothing : Hoodie. :D
39. Book : Anything by Meg Cabot & Rachel Hawthorne. :D
40. Song : Anything worth listening to. :D
41. Flowers : Th ones i always pick in Semb. park playground. (:
42. Colour : Green. :D
43. Movie : Nothing in particular. :D
44. Phrase : easypeasylemonsqueezy. :D
45. Subjects : ZzZ. None. :D

Have you ever done before ;
46. Kissed in the snow : Ooh. Snow. :D
47. Celebrated Halloween : Yeah. :D
48. Have your heart broken : Yeah. :D
49. Went over the minutes on your cell phone : Hm. I dont think so. :D
50. Someone questioned your sexual orientation : Hahah. Sometimes when I was younger. (?) xD
51. Came out of the closest : Nope. :D
52. Gotten pregnant : Nope. :D
53. Had an abortion : Nope. :D
54. Done something you have regretted : Yeah. :D
55. Broke a promise : Yeah. ):
56. Hide a secret : All the time. :D (most recent on is AteMae's. :D)
57. Pretended to be happy : All the time. :D (it's like living a double life.)
58. Meet someone who have change your life : Tht is so cheesy. =.=
59. Pretended to be sick : Yeah. :D
60. Left the country : Yeah. :D
61. Tried something your normally would'nt try & liked it : Yeah. :D
62. Cried over the silliest thing : Yeah. :D
63. Ran a mile : How th hell would i know ? =.=
64. Went to the beach with your best friend(s) : Yeah. :D
65. Stay single the whole year : Whole life baybeh, whole life. :D

Currently ;
66. Eating : Nothing. :D
67. Drinking : Nothing. :D
68. I'm about to ton : Err, what ? =.=
69. Listening to : River flows in you by Yiruma. :D
70. Plans for tomorrow : Go school lor. =.=
71. Waiting for : MY BIRTHDAY NXT WEEK ! :D

Your future ;
72. Want kids : Later then decide. :D
73. Want to get married : Eh. Later then decide. :D
74. Careers in mind : Psychologist or Counsellor. :D

Which is better than boys ;
75. Lips or eyes : Eyes. :D
76. Shorter or Taller : Taller. :D
77. Romantic or Spontaneous : Romantic. :D
78. Nice stomach or nice arms : Don't really care abt this one. :D
79. Sensitive or loud : Sensitive. :D
80. Hook-up or relationship : Relationship. :D
81. Trouble-maker or Hesistant : ZzZ. Sweet, can ?

Have you ever ;
82. Lost glasses/contacts lens : Nope. :D
83. Ran away from home : I ran out of th house before. :D
84. Hold a gun or knife for self defense : Hm. th kunai keychain LIZHEN gave me. Can poke, you know. :D
85. Killed somebody : Nope. :D
86. Broken someone's heart : How th fck would i know. :D
87. Been arrested : Nope. :D
88. Cried when someone died : Not really.

Do you believe in ;
89. Yourself : Sometimes. :D
90. Miracles : Soemtimes. :D
91. Love at first sight : Nope. :D
92. Heaven : Yeah. :D
93. Santa Claus : Nope. :D
94. Sex on the first date : Nope. :D
95. Kiss on the first date : Depends. :D
96. Is there one person you want to be with you right now : Hm. I don't know. :D
97. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life : Nope. :D

This is the 98 & last question ;
Now tag 10 people to do this :

-&whoevr wants to do it. :D