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welcome

yo. ellaine!mae is here. yup, it's her blog. she likes GREEN, screwdrivers and her friends. (L)



meh.
uselessness and insecurities.

I think I finally figured out why i'm so exhausted, everyday.
I moodswing too much.

Hm. I can talk a lot about what happened these past few days but I'm not gonna. I just feel like whining a lot now. Why, you ask? Facebook has recently stopped working with my iTouch. I was seriously ready to bang it against a wall. The only other option was to install the new one but I had to update my software and all. That meant syncing my iTouch into my laptop. That meant that all my songs and photos would go POOF. Obviously, it did. From 735 songs, I'm down to 50 songs. Even though that's only the organised ones, it's still little, compared to 735. To top it off, my Dad still hasn't taught me how to plug in my external hard drive. You know, to put in all my albums. Sigh. I feel like crying. Seriously. It's just so unfair. I want to update my software, I have to pay. WHY?! They didn't charge, last time. Why now? Oh, ugh. I feel very BLEH right now. My iTouch is completely and utterly useless.

Actually, I feel a little useless, myself. Do you think I'm a bad friend? Or a flirt, even? I don't even know why I'm thinking of such stuff. Maybe it's because I'm becoming closer to the guys. Sharing secrets and problems and all those. Or maybe it's because of those secrets itself. I feel like I don't deserve to know them. I'm afraid that they trust me too much. I don't even have proof that I'm completely trustworthy. Don't get me wrong though. I'm still trustworthy. It's just that there happened to be a recent incident(s) where I may have slipped on some things. Not the whole thing but just enough. I mean, I don't even know how my friends think of me. Do they get irritated that I'm violent, short-tempered, bad-tempered and moody? Do they think that they'd rather that I don't hang around them? Yes, I do feel very confused. I love my friends and all but, I won't really and exactly know what they think about me. I don't even want to know what, those that don't know me, think of me. Flirt? Just because I hang out with 2B'09 guys. Ocassionally, with Bryan but that's all. Loud? Yes, I am loud. Bad example of an SC? Um. I try not to, okay?

Really. What do you think of me?