Even after that, it still feels so hard to talk to you. Even though I miss you, I can't shake off the awkward feeling. I can't believe I caused this. I want to talk to you yet I can't bring myself to ask you to call me. Because I know that you can't. And even if you could, it would only be for a little while. And I feel so stupid and disgustingly desperate, whenever I ask you to meet up with me. It really, really hurts. But I can't bring myself to tell you all these. I'm a coward, that's why. I still don't know what you wanna do. I feel so disgusted with myself for constantly pestering you to hang out when I know you're just gonna decline it. It hurts a lot more now, actually.

I actually want you to see this, but at the same time not. I know you well enough to say that even if you did saw this, you wouldn't mention it to me. I wished you'd see how much this affects me. Maybe then, it'll affect you too. I'm so damn tired, crying about you. Friends are the ones that are supposed to be by your side when you're down. Not the ones causing them. I don't dare to call you 'bestfriend' anymore. You'd think I'm a hypocritic bitch.

What hurts the most is I did all these. Because I'm a girl who is sensitive, insecure, paranoid, emotional and weak. Oh God, weak. Why can't guys understand that?

I actually kept stopping at certain parts because I kept having this gasping-for-air cries. I don;t even need to blink and the tears just kept falling and falling.

I may be important to you, but I'm not the most important.

I really should stop reading Max Lovely! It's about this guy and girl who are bestfriends. And even through their troubles, they're still by each other. One chapter was when the guy started ignoring the girl and the girl's energy and spirit was practically sucked off. I was reading it and crying at the same time. Damn. The guy is so sweet and really shows how much he cares for her.

Even after that, it still feels so hard to talk to you. Even though I miss you, I can't shake off the awkward feeling. I can't believe I caused this. I want to talk to you yet I can't bring myself to ask you to call me. Because I know that you can't. And even if you could, it would only be for a little while. And I feel so stupid and disgustingly desperate, whenever I ask you to meet up with me. It really, really hurts. But I can't bring myself to tell you all these. I'm a coward, that's why. I still don't know what you wanna do. I feel so disgusted with myself for constantly pestering you to hang out when I know you're just gonna decline it. It hurts a lot more now, actually.

I actually want you to see this, but at the same time not. I know you well enough to say that even if you did saw this, you wouldn't mention it to me. I wished you'd see how much this affects me. Maybe then, it'll affect you too. I'm so damn tired, crying about you. Friends are the ones that are supposed to be by your side when you're down. Not the ones causing them. I don't dare to call you 'bestfriend' anymore. You'd think I'm a hypocritic bitch.

What hurts the most is I did all these. Because I'm a girl who is sensitive, insecure, paranoid, emotional and weak. Oh God, weak. Why can't guys understand that?

I actually kept stopping at certain parts because I kept having this gasping-for-air cries. I don;t even need to blink and the tears just kept falling and falling.

I may be important to you, but I'm not the most important.

I really should stop reading Max Lovely! It's about this guy and girl who are bestfriends. And even through their troubles, they're still by each other. One chapter was when the guy started ignoring the girl and the girl's energy and spirit was practically sucked off. I was reading it and crying at the same time. Damn. The guy is so sweet and really shows how much he cares for her.