It really is a miracle, if I think about it. I feel so calm. So free. So relaxed. It's been so long since I've felt all these. I even feel like dancing. A day without school, homework and stress really does a lot. No more worries. No more physical and emotional pain.

I guess it was stupid of me to do it. Dig my sharp long nails onto my hand. But I swear, I wasn't thinking during those times. I was just so angry, hurt, frustrated, betrayed, aggravated and jealous. It was pure hate. I felt it. And I was even scared of what I might have done. I wanted to quit school. If that was all it took to get out of physical-hurt thoughts. Not suicidal thoughts but close to it. I was so damn scared of myself. Of what I might end up doing. But that's all over now. What I did last night, though was stupid and brash, was the right thing to do.

I really did just realised it. And admitting it was a pain to the pride. But it got me loose. All the confused feelings are gone 'cause i know the reason for all of those. Only Bryan, Shiyun and Yurong knows and that's enough. He's not worth the blue-black nail marks on my hand.

Lizhen and Michelle has been awesome too. You guys are the best. Thanks you for all the encouragement and saying that you'll always be here for me. I was just so touched, I started crying. I didn't realised that there are more people that are more loyal to me, cares more for me and worries more about me. Maybe all these was for the better. I'm seeing all those that actually care about me. And show it. I don't want to hate her just because she's my replacement. I only want to hate you.

It really is a miracle, if I think about it. I feel so calm. So free. So relaxed. It's been so long since I've felt all these. I even feel like dancing. A day without school, homework and stress really does a lot. No more worries. No more physical and emotional pain.

I guess it was stupid of me to do it. Dig my sharp long nails onto my hand. But I swear, I wasn't thinking during those times. I was just so angry, hurt, frustrated, betrayed, aggravated and jealous. It was pure hate. I felt it. And I was even scared of what I might have done. I wanted to quit school. If that was all it took to get out of physical-hurt thoughts. Not suicidal thoughts but close to it. I was so damn scared of myself. Of what I might end up doing. But that's all over now. What I did last night, though was stupid and brash, was the right thing to do.

I really did just realised it. And admitting it was a pain to the pride. But it got me loose. All the confused feelings are gone 'cause i know the reason for all of those. Only Bryan, Shiyun and Yurong knows and that's enough. He's not worth the blue-black nail marks on my hand.

Lizhen and Michelle has been awesome too. You guys are the best. Thanks you for all the encouragement and saying that you'll always be here for me. I was just so touched, I started crying. I didn't realised that there are more people that are more loyal to me, cares more for me and worries more about me. Maybe all these was for the better. I'm seeing all those that actually care about me. And show it. I don't want to hate her just because she's my replacement. I only want to hate you.