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welcome

yo. ellaine!mae is here. yup, it's her blog. she likes GREEN, screwdrivers and her friends. (L)



meh.
tortoise.

Bryan Lu Zhen Wei's birthday present. (Y)

That tortoise is huge, I tell you. It's shared among 10 people. And since it costs $40, each person only has to pay $4. Best. (Y)
Everyone's feeling so down, including me. Bryan Lu Zhen Wei, Tan Shi Yun, Michelle Lee Hui Si & Glen Kuick Yi Shao ! Cheer up, you people. I know I may not have the rights to say this when I'm.. yeah. But, I really want all of you to cheer up. I see you people everyday and though some of you might not show it in public, I know you're very sad inside. Let me help, okay ? I know the only thing I do, or rather, the only thing I say is cheer up and smile but I really do mean it.
Bryan, you don't have to tell me. And I know that you probably won't but that's okay. I really appreciate everything you've done for me since the very beginning. You really changed my impression of you. Please cheer up, alright little boy ? You're almost like a little brother to me now. (:
Shi Yun, it's not the end of the world. I know you can't/don't tell me some stuff and even though it hurts me, in a way, i'll respect that. Just know that I'm always here to lend you my ear, as well as my shoulder. Need a hug, I'm here. (:
Michelle, I'm here for you. You don't need to care about her. There's plenty of us here to help you and protect you, alright ? We're all ready and willing to help in any way that we can. (:
Glen, make the right decision. I may not have experienced this before but I want to help you. And from what I can see, there's only 3 things you can do. You know those 3. Like what you said, the important thing is that you and your friends know that you did it because it's the right decision for both of you. (:

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mass monday blues.

Happy faces or sad faces?


Today was a serious mass breakdown. I'm seriously pooped. I had to run here and there to check up on people. It's just on instinct, actually. I can't stand to ignore them and do nothing. First it was Michelle, then ShiYun, then Faith, then Daryl, then JieMing, then Bryan, then Glen. What's a girl supposed to do but talk to them? I hate it when I can't do anything, though. Whether it was because it was imply out of my hands, inevitable or just plain that they don't want to tell me what happened. It's very frustrating. I want to be trusted. I want to make them feel better. I'm your friend, people. Even if I can't do anything to make it all go away, I want to help and make you happy. Please know that you can always talk to me.

Don't you trust me?

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girl.

I'm a girl today, HAHAH. :D

Well, boring day at cathecism class today. Had a blast smsing Faith throughout 2 hours of lesson! Basically, that's all I remember from cathecism class. Whoops. Even during mass, I was distracted. Kept watching my cathecism classmate take pictures with his girlfriend. I was on the second floor and I could look at the blocks for cathecism class. They spent about 10 mins there, or more. LOL. I just thought that it was inappropriate, especially since they were in church compounds. Tsk. Oh well.

After a long time, I went to the library today! Hahah! You know what's the best part? I ended up borrowing books that I read before. Awesome, right? I seriously love the authors. Rachel Hawthorne and Meg Cabot. Out of 4 books, I've already read 3.

I'm broke again, because of school. Why can't my parents understand that I have a lot of things to pay for school? You know, I've saved $50 and all that went to God knows where. I'm even getting nagged at for withdrawing from my account. They were the ones who told me to withdraw, in the first place! That's it. I'm gonna starve myself in school, just so I can have enough money for presents and other school stuff. Let's calculate, shall we.
Total money: $72.95
History file: $15.40
Present: $5, if shared. $10 if alone.
Sub-total: $52.55
In conclusion, I still have my savings. Awesome. My one-week allowance of $2.55? Not awesome. Seriously.

Have, BOOMZ.

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definition.

Is this the definition of being happy?


Things are seemingly back to normal. More or less. JunHao's being an ass again, treating me like a guy through the phone. You man-boob.

Apart from that, Bryan and ShiYun's emo-ness is really infectious. More so, because they aren't talking to me about it. I'm not going to force them or anything. I want them to tell me because they trust me. In a stranger's eyes, they all seem like happy people, content with their lives. But to me, they're teenagers that seek my comfort yet all I can say is, "Cheer up". I'm starting to hate myself for repeatedly saying those two words. It's as if it becomes more and more meaningless with every time that I say it to someone. I know those words can't help. I know I want to do more than just sms or tell you that. Let me help. I want to. I want you people to be happy even outside school. I know it's not my place to talk when I can't do the same but that doesn't mean you guys can't. Don't give me an excuse like, "Do it first then I'll do the same" because you guys won't. In fact, I won't either. But I still want you guys to be happy.

You know what? I've made up my mind. I want to be happy, from now on. I just need people to help me with it. I'm gonna be genuinely happy even at home. I'm not gonna let stress pull me down. I'm gonna let my friends pull me up. I'm gonna be as happy as my picture.

To a stranger, you're always happy. To me, I want you to be happy.

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